my social butterfly mother taught me about a “fake-ness” that’s worked well for me in situations like this: when you talk to them, follow every opportunity that reveals something about themselves (eg “you mentioned that you liked the color blue, i kinda like it too because of X, why do you like it?”) and do it even if it bores you and you grasp at straw to keep the conversation going. people love talking about themselves and love it even more with an audience that seems into it and, at the end, either your crush will be dispelled or now your crush is aware of you.

if they act odd after that; then they don’t feel the same way about you that you feel about them and move on. if they do feel the same way about you OR if they don’t, but they still like you; they’ll likewise look for an excuse to tell you more about themselves.

I was friends with her and I trusted that she would handle it well if she wasn’t interested. And turns out she indeed wasn’t interested, but we did talk about it and decided to just stay friends. It was a little awkward as my feelings for her still lingered a bit, but eventually that passed and I’m now with a wonderful girl who I think is a much better match for me.

We’re still friends to this day.

If it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll know and you can move on. If you don’t do it, you’ll regret it forever.

There will be more crushes.

I didn’t. Have been wondering about „what if“ ever since. So save yourself some grief and do it.

In my experience you dont *get over* the fear—you only work up the courage to do it anyway.

Booze helped

You need to take a risk on some level, which probably isn’t what you want to hear, but other commenters have said as much. I think that even worse than a solid “no” is just not doing anything and getting up in your head about the what-ifs, and missing an opportunity entirely.

Well, I did not really pursue my little princess with persistence and I was so low-key that she was unaware of my existence.

From a distance I desired her, secretly admired her wired her a letter to get her, and it went:

“My dear, my dear, my dear, you do not know me, but I know you very well, now let me tell you 'bout the feelings I have for you when I try, or make some sort of attempt, I simp - damn, I wish I wasn’t such a wimp - cos then I would let you know that I love you so and if I was your man, then I would be true, and the only lying I would do is in the bed with you.”

Then I signed “Sincerely, the one who loves you dearly, P.S. Love Me Tender.”

I find an effective means to resolve my anxiety is to consider the worst possible outcome and resolve within myself if that is an outcome I can withstand.