47W. Never wanted kids. I don’t miss it. I’m happy when I see my friends’ kids but I really don’t want one.
I have time for me and I couldn’t afford raising one but again, I’ve never ever felt the need to be a parent.
No one has ever pressured me into having children. People knew I wasn’t the the type even when I was a kid. They never questioned my choice not to get married either. So no peer pressure.
43 Male. I want kids but I am currently financially unsuitable. At some point though, I plan on it. I can appreciate being single and childless. I have done quite a bit of stuff, but, I have the urge to raise kids and have a family. It feels like there is a part of me not quite there.
My life didn’t start until my 40s and so I’m really grateful to have the opportunity to discover myself and do the things that I want to do and not be tied down to the needs of others. It feels amazing.
I do want to add, I never wanted kids or get married. My childhood dream was to connect to my inner compass, be authentic and express myself freely. I am grateful to be able to actualize this.
were you incarcerated
Internally. Yes.
I can relate to this person. I entered the job market in 2008, the same year the economy crashed. I was immediately screwed the moment I was old enough to work, which set me up for failure from the beginning. I’m now in my mid 30s and I feel like I just haven’t been able to get my shit together no matter how hard I try. To this day I’m still working the same shitty retail and warehouse jobs for crumbs.
Edit: Meanwhile my GF is in her late 20s, has a work-from-home job that pays $24/hr, and is a homeowner. She’s way more successful than I’ll ever be, cause shit wasn’t completely fucked by the time she started working. It’s not fair.
It’s awesome. Sure, I have moments in life that suck regardless, but in those moments I always think to myself “Wow, this would be even worse if I had kids.”
In my mid 30’s. Find myself thinking the same. Also when I’m feeling great it’s “there’s no way i could be enjoying this if i had to worry about kids”
Yup, exactly. It just seems like there’s no time to relax when you have kids, you always have to be “on”.
I used to take a bus home from work, and a woman that lived in my apartment took the same bus, so we always ended up walking into the building together. I’ll never forget that EVERY time when she opened her apartment door, you could hear two little kids yell “MOMMY!” the second that door was opened. Maybe some people love that, but to me it always filled me with a sense of dread and exhaustion. Here was this woman who just spent a full day at work and now she has to come home and essentially start her second job of being with her kids, who of course want all her attention. I felt horrible for her, and it wasn’t like she was skipping home all happy to see them, either.
Some people like it, which I’m happy for, they’re the ones who should have children. But it’s not for everyone and it shouldn’t be stigmatized. I will happily pay taxes to fund kinder care and school. I see the value in society for kids. Just not in my own home.
[I’m] in my mid-30s*
Shit that’s how you grammar!?
Syntax, not grammar
Ok. I’m still going to omit it in the future.
Omitting is fine… just a bit ambiguous. It’s the apostrophe misuse that matters :)
Pretty great. I have money and free time.
Like Freedom. I love my niece and nephew and enjoy spending time with them. But if I had to feed, clothe, clean up after, provide for, and entertain them 24 hours a day (not even considering when they were babies!)… I literally cannot imagine it.
Honestly? Kinda lonely. I’ll be 40 in a few months. I’m a woman, if the perspective matters .
I was engaged to the man I thought I’d marry and have kids with, but it didn’t turn out to be the case, and although I learned how to choose better and what to look out for, I also wonder if I’m ever going to get to have a family of my own. It’s been 6 years now since that fell apart, and I had to do a lot in that time to get back onto my feet, but the few relationships I’ve had since then are fleeting. Men seem afraid of commitment now, and it’s hard not to completely fall to the idea that I’m just too old, which is what society is consistently screaming at me.
I don’t feel old.
I am tired of searching though. At some point I will get to where I’m too old and that makes me sad to think about.
At some point we’re too old to have biological children, yes, but my 72 year old father has been in a new relationship for about a year and they seem super happy together.
(Edited for clarity.)
They told me I’d change my mind about not wanting kids when I got older. I’m still waiting for it to change.
As someone who didn’t want kids and then had them later in life, your mind doesn’t really change until after you have them. That’s when I was like Oh
At least that’s what it was like for me. Plenty of people’s minds never change even after kids sadly.
Seems unwise to take that risk. What if I don’t change my mind?
Absolutely. Definitely not recommending chancing something like that haha. Just saying you might never change your mind and that’s ok. But also if a kid came into your life somehow, don’t panic! It might be ok
Just turned 50. Was childless by choice. But I Got custody of my 12 year old niece two years ago. (Very small family and There was no one else to take her.). I love her but I do miss my adult freedom.
It feels amazing.
I wake up to a quiet, clean house every day.
Turn 40 in about a month and let me tell you, it’s dope AF. I’ve got more friends than I know what to do with, having way more fun than in my 20s and I’m not tied down to raising a kid. I go to cons and adventures all the time that I couldn’t do nor afford if I had kids. Having kids always grossed me out. I’ve got friends with kids that I can corrupt as needed.
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Married, happy, and doing financially ok (house paid off but no real savings). Life would have been a lot harder with kids.
Pardon my French but it feels fucking awesome. I’ve been able to travel the world. I have developed hobbies that I wouldn’t be able to do so with kids. I have saved a lot of money and I have been able to advance my career.
As for passing my knowledge/experience, I volunteer at various charities where I can influence young minds. I don’t believe that passing on genes down the line is the best I can do. The best I can do is to help young people achieve their goals.
Now, to address few some clichés. On my deathbed I will get the glass of water from a highly paid nurse. The “warm bed” is not the issue for me. When I go I will leave my possessions to a charity of my choice.
I am approaching 40, and I still don’t want any, but i am deeply lonely and depressed as friendships are fading out of my life due to their children and my constant movement and disinterest.
i have no plan for the end of my life. since I won’t be able to do much at that time anyway, I’m not sure that it matters. I’m willing to suffer through it and possibly kill myself if it means that im able to live my best years with the most freedom.
I’m hoping that assisted suicide will be a thing, but I have come up with a contingency plan if it’s not. The worst thing I can imagine is being stuck in a nursing home and not knowing what’s going on or be unable to do things for myself.
agreed. confusion and dementia would be my worst hell. i would need to get things in order before i lose control, if it lookes like things would go that way. i have no intention of living like that on purpose.
I relate to this 100%
I sort of see the appeal of having kids, but I can barely keep things together for myself. There’s no way I can support myself and kids. Even with my boyfriends income and mine, it’s just not realistic.
This is the key behind the fertility crisis of first world countries. SHITS TOO EXPENSIVE. A house is 10 years worth of income, college like 3 years worth, a car (which needs to be replaced every 5-10 years) around a years worth, plus food, bills, taxes and all of this other shit makes it impossible.
Yearly childcare is a years worth of income in plenty of places, so there’s that too.
