It’s already well known at work that I don’t just not like gore videos but that I hate them and actively avoid them.
A colleague sent me a video of a man being murdered by axe via WhatsApp to my personal phone on my lunch break. Before I opened it I asked if it was a video that I would want to see (because I know what sort of character he is), he implied it was fine.
Despite my suspicion I took his word and watched it. I immediately scolded him, he then made light of the situation, I told him that it wasn’t funny and that if it ever happened again I would be making a formal complaint immediately.
A couple of minutes later, another colleague came in to the mess room, the guy that sent the video made fun of me for not liking the video in front of them. I told him that he was making fun of me and that I wasn’t ok with that.
Do I have the right to not be sent murder videos? What would an employer do if I made a complaint?
Talk to HR. If they are not responsive talk to a lawyer that specializes in workplace law.
I might report it but not name him. I know there is a chance that he could get sacked, I think the guy is a grade A moron but I’m not willing to ruin his life over it.
He’s ruining his own life by being a moron. By not naming him in a complaint, he will not learn that his actions have consequences.
There’s consequences and then there’s ruining his livelihood. I’m severely pissed off but seeing him sacked won’t make me feel better. I don’t want revenge, I just want him to act like a professional.
Consequences and revenge are not the same thing. If he doesn’t receive the direct consequences of his actions, he will not learn that he shouldn’t do that. Clearly he is incapable of learning via polite means. You are not the only person he’s doing this to, and it is not acceptable.
He’s already ignored your requests to be more professional. You’ve already made it clear that his behavior is making you uncomfortable. I’m sure there’s a code of conduct or similar somewhere that he agreed to that would prohibit this bullshit. Fuck him. Whatever happens to him is on him at this point.
The consequences are 100% on him and 0% on you.
He chose to be a douche and is presuming on others to keep this under wraps so he can continue being abusive. Playing along with his secrecy game only helps the abuser. You have absolutely no obligation to keep this private, and moreover you have digital evidence in the form of a text message.
This person will obviously never be professional. How many others you work with are also traumatized by those videos but don’t say anything, I wonder. Get this scumbag fired for your coworkers if you won’t do it for yourself.
Being sacked isn’t ruining someone’s life. There are other companies, other jobs. It’s hardly the end of the world.
What you’re saying is “I want him to know it’s okay to keep doing this to other people with no consequences”.
With that kind of attitude you will be a victim forever.
You’re being bullied. He will continue because he thinks you won’t respond. Bullies get worse, not better.
Absolutely correct. That asshole knew exactly what he was doing and he is only going to escalate if OP doesn’t push back.
OP gets a random number. Honey traps him. And breaks his heart and at the end send him dick pic
That’s some hostile workplace kind of BS, and shouldn’t be tolerated. Document everything, names, dates, info etc.
He’s done this before, and you haven’t made a complaint???!
Passing snuff movies around is disgusting - IANAL but I would suggest that at minimum it would be Gross Misconduct and, probably, highly illegal and he should be immediately dismissed and possibly arrested.
However, I’m not a lawyer so I would contact ACAS ASAP, see https://www.acas.org.uk/ and log everything, inc. previous videos he’s sent around - don’t delete your evidence! But ACAS will advise you best.
I deleted it immediately because I can’t stand to have that sort of video on my phone.
He’s not sent one to me directly before, but there is a work group chat where similar videos have come up (all deleted by me) and I left a comment saying what I thought about those types videos which pretty much brought them to a stop.
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It’s already well known at work that I don’t just not like gore videos but that I hate them and actively avoid them.
What the FUCK is going on at your work? I know this isn’t always an option, but I suggest you run away. A workplace where you’re considered the weird one because you don’t like snuff vids? I really doubt a complaint could fix that environment, it sounds rotten to the core
In the US and this sounds like a text book case of harassment and is illegal and absolutely should lead to termination of the offending party. I imagine the UK has stronger labor laws to protect workers, so uh, go to your HR department and whatever the local government labor board equivalent is. You should absolutely not put up with this shitty behavior from anyone.
I imagine the UK has stronger labor laws to protect workers
ahahahaha
no
in the UK you are basically ‘at will’ for the first two years of any job, you can be fired for no reason.
TW: suicide
Similar happened to me about 15 years ago, and it still bothers me. Mine was out of the blue though, nobody had shared anything remotely violent or gory in the team. One guy decides to share a ‘funny’ video with a subject line of ‘always search your detainees’ or something. A guy gets seated in a room by a cop, asks for some water, cop leaves, guy sits for a moment, then pulls out a handgun and shoots himself in the head. I had headphones on and still remember the sound of his last ‘exhale’ after dying. Fucked me up for a while.
In short, don’t stand for this shit. It’s no joke how much it can affect you if you aren’t desensitised already, especially if you aren’t expecting it.
As for law I don’t know but this is work harassement. Your company surely has a policy against it.
I would advice you to go to your HR make a complain even you don’t go all the way to make sure he is punished, you should make sure they is a official trace of what happened. For you, for what you went thought also for the case he keeps going and for other how might be his next victims of harassment in the futur.Yep work harassment. Not even a maybe.
If some edgelord employee sent a picture of a gun to someone with no context, HR will file it under threat. The edgelord won’t get in serious trouble, but would be warned about that since it’s vague and can be anything from showing their cool gun collection, to threatening to shoot.
Now a video of actual murder… You better believe thats harassment. No question about it. Immediate removal.
And as the comment above - if he’s sending that to you, he absolutely will be sending nasty shit to your other coworkers, especially to those who can’t speak up or are too afraid.
your colleague is likely a borderline psychopath or antisocial at best (not asocial, antisocial big difference)
What a complete and utter distasteful thing to do by your colleague. You do have the other colleague as witness, kind of. In some countries you can get legal advice for free. No idea whether that applies for the UK. Having said that your colleague appears to be seeking for attention, negative or not. You really should define your personal boundaries. However the question is whether ignoring the person and blocking their private number or filing a complaint is going to give them more attention and more reason to harass you. I would talk with a few good friends in real time about this so you can vent or cry or shout about this horrible event. Stay safe!
Another thing you can consider is to find a good mediator and then have a chat with your colleague to talk about your boundaries and about their motives. You got lots of down-votes for your reluctance to complain and have the colleague fired and that made me think that your colleague getting fired might make things worse. Who knows what more horrible things the person would do after that. Something more constructive must be possible.
All the advice about going to HR is great, and you absolutely should.
But on a personal note, I’m really sorry you are dealing with this. Absolutely not even remotely okay for him to do this and you are well within your rights to force an end to this. Wildly unprofessional behavior and down right creepy behavior just on a personality level.
I hope you find peace from him soon.
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