They only advice I can give you is there is no trick or fix. You are going to fail and that is okay. You have to think of it like a muscle. You don’t start with 600 lbs weights. You start at like a 6 lbs weights and work your muscles up.

Building focus is the same way create very small goals maybe it’s write one paragraph of your resume then stop. You built up your motivation muscle just a little bit.Then when that becomes a habit add more goals and maybe bigger goals as you go along.

The biggest issue I find is people make goals around results and sometimes those results are not in your control. So people think they failed their goal and got discouraged but framing your goals about what you are doing keeps you going. As you celebrate the accomplishment of the journey of doing not achieving as that is just a byproduct of what you are doing.

This is depression. Right now, it is no one’s job to worry about your effectiveness in performance and absolutely not to pass judgement on yourself for those considerations. It is your job to work with your therapist, heal, and self empathize. Try to remember that depression is not something you have but something you lack. Depression usually presents as a lack of motivation. So, focus on you and fuck anyone EVERYONE who says otherwise. If it needs to then productivity will come. And if not, who cares?! You do you cuz!

one must be careful not to sabotage the slef. it will become very angry

What do you give a shit about?

Sometimes finding anything to care about when you are depressed, but if/when you find something you care about beyond feeling better, you should really think about why, and if it’s healthy, lean into it.

Some people care about creating, some about building, some discover, service to others, analysis, working with their hands, being in nature. What do you gravitate towards? Some people go down a path they don’t care about, because of external pressures, or comfort, or just trying to get by.

If you don’t care to advance the career you are in, maybe it’s time to think about why.

I trust that if you know yourself enough to admit in words on the internet that you aren’t helping yourself, you are damn self aware enough to think about these things. Don’t worry about the stress of changing careers or losing progress or what other people think. Just figure out what you might care about, which paths you could see yourself going down, and mentally explore those and see what you give a shit about. Find some intersection between stuff you give a shit about and what is productive, and motivation comes. Motivation is a by-product, a secondary effect, of having something motivating to work on.

This will sound dumb, but I’m saying it sincerely.

I’ve had similar issues (without getting into details), but what worked for me was getting outside a couple times a week. By that I mean bringing a tent or hammock + tarp and sleeping outside a couple nights a week on workdays.

To be specific: I sleep outside Monday-Tuesday and Wednesday-Thursday. On those days I also make my dinner at my campsite. What I’ve found is that my brain goes into a much more “primal” state of “monke outside in cold, monke get shit done”, and that it propagates into my day and week.

The barrier to this is of course actually going outside, but I’ve been able to get to a place where I have a “deal with myself” about those two nights a week. I always have my pack ready, so it’s just about grabbing it and heading out- I think that’s key.

I’m not saying this is a solution for everyone, but it’s done wonders for me. As of now, I get restless and feel bad if I’m in a situation where I can’t get outside at least once a week. It brings me a peace of mind and will to get stuff done that nothing else can.

I do this:

1. Tell myself I’m not going to do it. What ever it is, I’m not going to do it.

2. Do the bare minimum thing like: open up a word document, turn on a tap to wash dishes, take something out of a box.

3. By commencing the task I’ll usually default into doing the next part like reading the document, washing a dish, sorting something out.

Additional tips:

• Break big things into small chunks.
• Dont get overloaded. If your a room do it one draw at a time so you can stop when ever. Getting trapped in a “I can’t sleep until this is finished” task is a trap.
• Lists to keep track.

P.S. I was in recruitment 13 years ago and once thought about throwing myself down the stairs to get out of work. I did that job for 2x years and used it to move to a better industry.

You can make change in your life.

Good luck, we’re all counting on you :)

Can you do something different for your career? Seems like you hate it.

Reading the book “Atomic Habits” helped me.

Sounds like you’re still working through depression to me. Be kind to yourself, give yourself time to heal and work through things, I’m glad you’ve found a therapist that’s a great step. Do you think you want to go back to the industry or could you be avoiding it subconsciously? Something that has helped me a lot is journaling, you can wipe down your goals and break them down into smaller goals if needed.

Slef

I don’t believe you’re spending all your time “overthinking” or “doing chores”. Stop bullshitting yourself. Try harder.