What about volunteering groups? I’m in my 20s but volunteering groups tend to have people on the older side. It helps that people in their 40s and over tend to be financially stable and would spend their free time to volunteer.

Organize a local Lemmy meetup for 40+ year olds! Lol

I am in my mid 40s myself. I think the default advice is to just find social hobby groups and meet people that way. The more you put yourself out there, the more chance you have to make a connection. Also, I don’t think it’s a problem to be the “odd old lady” - wear that badge with pride IMO.

You’re overweight? Make the gym your hobby. I’m a 48 year old woman and I go to the gym every day and lots of people to interact with.

I’d like to know too.

My childhood friend ditched his family and swapped for a younger woman from work about a decade ago. Marriage was not the happiest, but I think he jumped the gun. Now the younger woman ditched him and he’s alone. His now teenage child is keeping touch, but is not happy about their history.

Guy is miserable and I’m afraid suicide is an option.

Can’t get him to take a new hobby, interest or activity. He’s been drowning himself in work and I don’t think it’s helping.

At work, at the gym, at the coffee shop, at the library. At yoga, at the beach, Pokemon go raid hour. Mostly at work, but I’m older than you and that’s where I meet people and have made friends as an adult.

Not all hobbies require money, that’s an odd take. I do think it’s harder to meet people when you don’t have a family though, that part is true, connections are made through other people so it’s more work to build a network if you are just one person.

Great age to meet men, though, if you are looking for that - don’t worry about your weight, plenty of guys either like a plush build or don’t care. You will do fine in that regard if you are looking.

Disc golf is absolutely something to check out, no matter where you are starting from. Golf-like rules with much more interesting terrain and equipment. Unlike golf in being easy and cheap to pick up, and having a famously friendly player base with deep hippie roots and a passion for growing the sport. My mom plays with gusto in her 60’s, and several of her senior center buddies found their way into the game on their own too.

It shares many of the good things about hiking, volunteering, and activity clubs, and new friends from those will be excited to join you on the course. A group encountering the sport early on and all getting addicted to it together are such a joy. It’s also a fantastic sport for just walking through the forest alone, listening to audiobooks and talking to birds and chipmunks while practicing whipping colorful plastic into the distance with your whole body (and accidentally hitting trees.)

Disc golf was the fastest growing sport in much of the world pre-pandemic, and took off so fast during the opening act that you could hardly buy discs off the shelf. You may have many courses and shops nearby, https://udisc.com/ is the best place to get started. Good teachers like Danny Lindahl can help with the form basics if you want a crash course. As you get more involved, there are new niches to find like disc dyeing, weekly amateur doubles leagues, following the pro scene on YouTube, and volunteering at tournaments with course clubs.

Go try it! Wear sturdy shoes, let people play through if you’re in a relaxed paced group, yell FORE and keep yelling at errant shots, and just get a beginner friendly fairway driver and a putter that feels good in your hand and go try ‘em out. Hope ya have a blast

I think that depends on the groups that exist near you.

I know someone who was in a similar situation (divorced around 50), and she found a local hiking group of divorced people who wanted exactly what you’re looking for. So maybe ask on a local group on some social networks?

Hiking specifically is great because it’s an activity that both kinda forces people to talk, and also supplies a default topic for conversation (It’s also free, healthy and doesn’t require special skills). If you’re not into hiking, maybe a book club? Volunteering groups, like other people suggested, also fits that bill. Point is, don’t just look for [an activity] with people your age, think about how much that activity is conductive for making friends. Something with 10% people your age, but that encourages talking with each other, might be better than something with 90% people your age where the group listens to a teacher together and then everybody does their own thing separately.

Also, It might actually get easier to find new people in a few years. Some people wait for their kids to grow up/move out before divorcing, which creates a spike of single people at that age.

Mutual Aid/Food Bank/Volunteer around your city, or start a group and invite people around.

Local park and library/college may also help, where groups tend to meet.

Gyms also have classes for different age groups, may take a bit to figur out though!

Quick search:

https://bestlifeonline.com/hobbies-for-your-40s/

Some of these are common sense and good ideas!

Best way to meet new people is when doing things you love!

Check your local library for adult programs.

Board game or DnD club! I’ve met so many cool people at these things and it’s a fun hobby to boot! :)

I know you said you don’t like dating apps, but I would write them off completely. My partner and I met online (we’re both within a few years of your age), and one thing we both agree on is that dating apps are great for vetting a potential partner ahead of time. It’s frustrating to meet someone only to find out that they have/want kids (we don’t), don’t share any common interests, have opposing religious/political views, etc. By the time we actually met in person, we both already knew that we would at least get along as friends. It does seem that women tend to get a lot more “garbage” matches on online dating than men do, though; it probably also depends largely on where you live.

Do they have to be in person?

I have a strategy where i’ll get’em really hot by showing off all my 99s, but it’s getting to that step that’s been the hard part.

This is pretty niche, but I’m in a casual curling league and nearly everyone is over 40. Everyone there is super welcoming and friendly.

Meetup.com has events for a ton of different interests, I’ve found them to be quite diverse in age but some events are also focused for certain age ranges, so you might have some luck there!