And I know we’re mostly atheists here, but please keep the theological discussion to a minimum and appreciate the lighthearted hypothetical scenario for what it is.
I might as well go first:
Thou shalt seed what you download (You’ll understand in a few thousand years)
Sharing is caring !
That’s why I seed my neighbour’s wife.
Thou shalt not push to prod on Fridays
git blame, the new Amen.
- [my actual name here] is your lord, savior, and 4th form of god, and shall be treated as such.
- Sinning is the 12th form of liberalism
- Join an org (mine, preferrably)
- There can be no peace so long as hunger and want are found among millions of the working people and the few, who make up the employing class, have all the good things of life.
- Thou shalt seed more than thou downloads, unless thou ist [my actual name here].
The other tablet only had one commandment, chiseled extra large for emphasis:
Above all else, do no harm.
One saying slavery shouldn’t happen would be nice.
I think the 10 commandments are in Exodus which is also one of the books where God says exactly how you should own slaves. So that would be a weird one.
God really is a piece of shit.
Thou shall not attempt to make a business out of this using the medium of broadcast images and shouting.
Thou shalt not stalk thine ex’s media feed and scribe words inspired by Bacchus
Thou shalt not be cruel
Thou shalt not oppress your fellow man
Thou shalt not put yourself before your brethren
Thou shalt not think only of yourself
Thou shalt not live in a disordered home, nor shall you allow the cities you live in to become disorderly due to your own lack of action
- Do not treat people or animals as things
- Consent first from others, especially your family
- The Earth and it’s creatures should be shepherded and guarded, not exploited
- No gods, no kings, no rulers - instead have empathy, sharing, and collaboration
- It’s round you nimrods, because that’s how gravity works
This stuff would really have changed things… I suspect Moses intentionally dropped this one?
Would it really? Humanity never follows the other 10 so why follow these ones?
Final line:
Now remember, these are just guidelines, you don’t have to take them too seriously, have some fun with them, that’s why I made you.
Thou shall not leave the toilet lid open after used.
The five missing ones are:
- Address the central point.
- Thou shalt not soapbox.
- Thou shalt not decontextualise what others say.
- Thou shalt not claim intentions to defend thine or someone else’s actions.
- Thou shalt not convey “I disagree” through feigned lack of understanding.
Bonus: the original version of the 8th was
- Thou shalt not claim with certainty things that you do not know for certain.
The current 8th (Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour) is a forgery. Some assumer got called out over and over because of the older 8th, since he really liked to make shit up, so he restricted it into near uselessness. Source: I’m Lucifer, I know it. :^)
Your version of the 8th would literally undo all religion (and a bit of science).
Your version of the 8th would literally undo all religion
It would undo the myths, I think. Morality and religious practices might survive depending on how much they rely on said myths.
and a bit of science
It would perhaps demote a lot of theories back to hypotheses, but that’s actually good IMO. A good scientist should embrace the doubt and treat it as a respectable enemy, not hide from it like a catfish in the mud.
- Thou shall not deny thy neighbour the right to your software
- Thou shall obey Micro$oft
- Thou shalt have no other operating system before Linux
- Thou shalt not take the name of Tux thy prophet in vain
- Thou shall not desire Chrome, thy weapon of Google
My English is not perfect so if you can please help with the old school English, especially point one and five
The ones that make the most sense to me as stuff Moses might say.
-
Thou shalt trust honest people, for why would one be honest if nothing comes from it
-
Thou shalt not assume things, to assume is often more destructive than lying
-
Thou shalt not cheat in games and anything with a justified set list of rules
-
Thou shalt not intentionally cause mental illness, for it is equal to murder
-
Thou shalt not gatekeep or deny another person’s rightful union
Wow, those really sound like they could have been from the Bible (also bonuses point to you for coming up with a serious suggestion). Here, you win the Nobel prize in Prophetry*! Your basically the new Moses, and we shall follow you!
/s (it’s sarcasm but keep the Nobel prize, you deserve it (*v*)/ []-[]¬ )
* Prophetry is supposed to mean “being a prophet” but I just made that word up
-
Thou shalt not kill
That’s literally the sixth commandment.
Well some (most?) people don’t pay a lot of attention to it so it deserves to be said again
The commandment so nice he wrote it twice.
No one seems to be paying much attention to it.
Returneth thy cart.
