Yes.
On a forum, I was complaining about a troll and his friend roasting something i made, they responded with a picture of a baby crying. Moderators did nothing. It ruined my week. I was like 16 at the time.
Damn, people are jerks.
Edit:
This is where I learn the thing they made was like a pride swastika.
One time I said on Reddit that I really missed my high school boyfriend because he genuinely was the love of my life, and things were so bad in my marriage I sometimes thought I would do anything to have him back, and someone told me I was like the show Crazy Ex Girlfriend. I was just lonely and sad and feeling desperate. It was fucking mean.
I’m sorry people suck sometimes. I hope you’re in a happier place now. High school boyfriends are the best what-ifs because you can assume they grew up, imagine their potential, and not have to see all their screwups.
It ended up being dumb because he had evolved into a Qanon type person looking him up on Facebook, but I was just sad for a feeling I once had. Thank you. I’m not really in a better place, and never tie your finances to a crazy person or you’ll never get free.
Hopeful that you find an escape from the craziness.
My wife wanted to say, in a loving way, that kinda is what the My Crazy Ex Girlfriend show is about. Also lots of music and kitchy themes.
Tell your wife I appreciate it. It was just a sad time for me and that asshole wanted to hurt me.
Not from a person. When I was younger I took an online personality test. Nothing from a reputable source, just some random pop psychology thing. The result was short and had a few things on it, but one line hit me like a ton of bricks: “You don’t like people who aren’t as smart as you.”
I was incredulous at first, but the more I thought about it the more I realized it was probably true at some level. I was pretty horrified by this realization, and I ended up thinking about it a lot and doing a ton of introspection. I knew I was smart, but I started acknowledging that there were also a ton of things I was terrible at. Whenever I had intrusive thoughts about a person I thought wasn’t very smart, I tried to think about things they were good at or at least acknowledge privileges I had that they didn’t.
We are a product of our experiences, and different people have different skills and aptitudes for things. All of that is ok and doesn’t make someone better than anyone else. I’m not perfect at it, but I found some value in confronting uncomfortable truths about myself.
I’ve performed and conducted more interviews than I can count. I was once asked a question that stopped me cold. “You’re clearly an intelligent person. How do you manage stupid people?” My mind reeled. At first I thought he was being insulting, but then realized he’s not identifying anyone in particular, just assessing my ability to lead people who are stupid. It’s still to date the toughest interview question I’ve been asked.
How did you answer?
After some uncertain smiles and stumbles, I said with patience, high support, and high direction. It was awkward, and not without some rambling.
Since then I’ve realized when I’m having difficulty conveying a complex idea to someone who may not understand, I tend to break the idea down into smaller components. I also often use analogies to help connect a concept to one the listener already understands.
I’ve thought about answering that question again on many occasions. I’m just glad it was a mock interview. lol
The truly hard part is detecting when the person you’re talking to doesn’t understand. Too many people pretend they understand when they don’t and are too embarrassed to ask questions.
Verify understanding with qualifying questions. Ask them to put it into their own words with questions like, “how would you describe it?”
I’ve been sick for a really long time, and I finally got diagnosed with Lupus, based on blood labs and symptoms, but the rheumatologist I’d seen was a jerk, so I asked in the reddit Lupus sub if what I’d experienced was OK, or if I should find a new doctor. Well, the mod decided that I didn’t really have a diagnosis, because they didn’t understand what I’d said, and kept DMing me to tell me that I didn’t have Lupus, and shouldn’t be receiving treatment for it. I know I shouldn’t listen to randos on the internet, especially a Reddit mod, but it made me scared that I wasn’t going to finally get the help I so desperately needed.
My doctor has continued to help me, and I’m very thankful that the idiot power-tripping mod was wrong, but it really messed me up for a few weeks, and it still bothers me that someone who runs a support group for a serious illness uses it to try to have power over vulnerable people, just to make themselves feel better. And reddit lets them; you can’t block mod-mail, so after asking multiple times to be left alone, I finally got mad and swore at the mod, so they reported me for harassment, and reddit baned my whole account for 3 days, even though it was clear who was being harassed, because it was all there in writing. I have never been back to reddit, and I don’t miss it at all.
Well, the mod decided that I didn’t really have a diagnosis, because they didn’t understand what I’d said, and kept DMing me to tell me that I didn’t have Lupus, and shouldn’t be receiving treatment for it.
Ignore it, if you can. 99% of the people on the internet (and real life, sadly):
- Don’t pay attention enough to understand what you said/asked.
- Assume that their life experience applies to everyone else on the planet.
- Have no idea what life is like for everyone else.
Thank you, and yes, you’re right. That’s why I don’t post about things that will upset me, I was just desperate for some advice and support for the terrible disease with which I’d just been diagnosed. I (stupidly) assumed I could be relatively safe posting in a sub specifically dedicated to supporting people with a disease, but even the leader of the group can’t be reasonable, which is really too bad. I’ve acclimated to having this disease now, and I’m confident I can get the help I need, so I know I won’t be bothered by the opinion of an ignorant internet person anymore. But I’m obviously still bitter enough to complain about it somewhere else lol.
I was banned from r/Ukrainian for advocating for the Russian people and how we shouldn’t demonize an entire population.
I’m Ukrainian. I was born in Ukraine…
Displays of extreme ignorance or stupidity hurt me on an existential level; so yes, a lot of internet comments hurt me.
Honestly, one comment, no. But I did stop playing online multiplayer games because the toxicity of the chat box made the experience frustrating and annoying instead of fun and I decided that it wasn’t causing the emotions I wanted to be having in my free time.
Deeply? No, but you try and be funny or helpful and sometimes it offends someone because they read it a certain way (text can be ambiguous) and that can ruin a day for me. No good reason, mind you, but they can get really mean about it and what, do I apologize or fight? You didn’t exactly want to clarify for a jackass coming after you for no reason.
I’m also not highly fond of people when they correct you on stuff when it’s not really warranted. Lemmy does that a lot; you can’t always write a 20pg paper about a random comment to address every little facit of what you said, haha.
There were too many for me to count.
Most of then were misgendering me. Let me say this one more time. I. AM. NOT. A. GIRL. I’ve never been a girl. I’m not even a transgender woman. I was assigned male at birth, and I identify as male.
Now that I think about it, I should change my legal name.
Girl gotta do what a girls gotta do
I meant the fact that my real name “Imrane” (a male name) looks too similar to “Imane” (a female name). Just the absence of the letter R makes people think I’m something else entirely.
And I used to use my real name on social media until about a year ago. I guess that was kind of on me.
Oh man, I think it’s the ‘e’ at the end of your name, which in a bunch of Romance languages would make it feminine. If it’s any consolation, solid men’s English names like ‘Lindsay’ and ‘Ashley’ are almost exclusively women’s names now for the same reason. (The “-y” or “-ie” marks a cutesy diminutive version, i.e. “bird” to “birdy”.)
I don’t think it’s the similarity to “Imane” (unless this is happening in your home culture) because I have never heard of that name before. However, I have seen “Imran” and I would have assumed that “Imrane” was the feminine version because of that ‘e’.
Wasn’t Imran Khan a famous cricketer?
Nope, that is not the case at all. A lot of Arabic names tend to be written with an E at the end in countries that experienced colonialism from the French, just to match French phonetics. I happened to be taught to spell my name this way.
So it’s Francophones, not Anglophones misgendering you?
Well, no. Quite literally anyone does it unfortunately.
I was once banned from some forums for being “too weird to fit in”. It was a forum for a forming WoW guild prior to its launch in 2004. I remember that it somehow crushed my quirky personality, and I became a bit of a drudge as a result.
Although I still game, and sometimes online, I’ve never since tried to actually fit in with any group, and have mostly stopped communicating when gaming at all. No voicechat, only chat, and even that very limited. I guess you could say the single experience changed my outlook and enjoyment of online gaming forever.
Online gaming is fun. It just sucks if it turns into all of the bad parts of high-school. I was doing MMOs before WoW and we weren’t ever the popular kids. Once wow came out and it became mainstream I probably took a 10 year haitas. Back at it now but things have chilled out quite a bit.
A person who I used to look up to tried grooming me. Needless to say they underestimated both my age AND my intelligence.
Multiple times when people want me to die for just -existing- but over the years of it, it’s hurts less and less. But still very damaging though.
From my experience people on the sites (lemmy, etc.), are way kinder, more respectful and accepting, than people, I meet in real life. That might also be my problem as I’m autistic and find almost any in-person comunication confusing.
Any time I watch settlers talk about Black people on the internet it reminds me we have made no real material progress towards liberation in the West, and likely never will until the West as we know it has fallen in. That’s a regular pain; psychic damage, despair and rage at the same time.
No
