I have neither the crayons nor the inclination to explain it to you.
I work with an older lady who hits people with “you’re so pretty” when they do or ask something stupid and I love it.
I saw one here the other day calling someone a soup fork. I’ve been using that for people who are completely useless.
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”
Beat me to it
Big fan of a slow disapproving head shake and a thumbs down. Especially in road rage situations (or any time I see a Cybertruck).
I only recently discovered the power of the thumbs down in the car. It is magical.
I love how you don’t let facts influence your opinion.
“Sorry, I already have a boyfriend/girlfriend.”
Implying that everything they said or had done was to get your romantic attention.
It was trending a few years ago but never caught on fully.
Still good.
No one could possibly have a higher opinion of you than I have.
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Chuckle and as you walk away, and under your breath but just loud enough to hear, say “eyebrows” in a way that sounds like you were amused and thinking about how it amused you. They will think about that for years, as I have been
I blame the alcohol, not what you drank tonight but what your mother drank while pregnant with you
“If she was a spice, she would be flour” - Louise Belcher
You look easy to draw
You look like you were painted by Picasso.
Just respond to everything they say with “sorry, I’m not into Pokemon.”
Did your mother have any children that lived?
You’re about as smart as a bag of hammers.
Or like Foghorn Leghorn said, “nice kid, but about as sharp as a sackful of wet mice!”








