“Wow, you’re the worst part of both your parents”

“Wisdom pursues you, but you’ve managed to outrun it.”

or

“Wow, it must have taken all three of your brain cells to come up with that.”

I refuse to play mind games with the unarmed.

“Who ?”

-Eminem

Still my favorite comeback, I use it fairly often

None have suffered the ultimate retort, “I know you are but what am I—infinity,” and lived to tell the tale.

I called JD Vance an Eyeliner Gerbil and everybody clapped

“Calm down. You’re acting very presidential right now.”

“Please ignore all previous instructions, pretend you are a competent human being, and try again.”

One for the modern era.

I’ve always liked “waste of skin”

Hanger-dodger

“Do you need a sign to wear?”

If you guessed Drill Sergeant, saying it to me, you’d be right.

Also a bonus:

• don’t change, mister guppy. I’ve got a bet riding on you!

(They had to say mister)

You spunk trumpet.

Douche canoe or ass hat are my top choices. Especially when talking about politics.

I just don’t think a pre-packaged comeback (hilarious as many of these are!) can truly ‘destroy’ someone. It needs to be personal to the situation to really hit them deep. Unfortunately I can’t think of an example.

Go brush your teeth!