Years ago I went to a small bar within walking distance of my place to watch a couple games with friends. There was a beer rep there for one of the big brewers debuting some new seltzer flavors, but no one was interested. I felt bad and the game wasn’t terribly interesting so I talked with him and over the course of 4-5 hours ended up drinking ~8 different flavors of fall themed seltzers (e.g., sour apple, cinnamon, pumpkin, flannel(?!)). A few included a shot of vodka. It was all free so I wasn’t saying no and ended up quite drunk.

The bar was also hosting a fish fry that day and the bartender brought over the leftover fish after the party left and offered it to everyone. In retrospect, this must have been sitting out for hours, but in my drunken state it was ambrosia from heaven and I ate a couple fillets and a bunch of shrimp and walked home.

The next day I was violently hungover and had food poisoning. It was the worst I have ever felt by a wide margin. The absolutely abominable combination of seafood and potpourri flavored alcohol made it an exquisitely miserable experience

I threw up during pregnancy once when I had just had OJ and brussel sprouts. It was years before I could take even a sip of orange juice without feeling nauseated all over again.

One time, I had a dream where I was eating something (I totally forget what it was), and the smell and taste was like the most putrid mix of vomit and sewage.

When I woke up, even though I hadn’t actually eaten anything, that smell and taste sensation stuck with me all day. I had absolutely no appetite that day.

The very next day I was extra hungry, and the bacon, eggs and biscuit I had for breakfast tasted so damn good, it was almost as if I had never eaten an awesome meal before.

Had a 5 cheese Stromboli. Nothing was wrong with it but I did find out my lactose intolerance had advanced from stomachaches and gas to full on diarrhea.

The coffee I made in School. I was allowed to use the Teachers Machine but my coffee Pads got Bakteria or smth by storing them in high Humid places without closing it.

The taste was horrible of the coffee but I was just adding more sugar… it still tasted weeird. I still had two of them because of an exam…

I felt like dying, by vomiting 30 times and needing to go to ambulance. It took a few hours and insulation, till I was allowed to go Home at 4am. I couldnt even move so weak I was over time, but probably it was because of the Drugs and panic of the assistance. She just asked me how much I got of this stuff and I just didnt know, so she gave me the same stuff again. Felt like doubling down on the drug with insulation. I think it was pain relieving.

I had symptoms of campylobacter. It was fast food chicken so I brought it on myself. Two weeks of spraying yellow liquid out of my ass approximately 20 min after eating.

Either that one time I had boiled ocra or when I yack’d across the room after eating a bowl of Grape Nuts cereal, which, as it turns out, was accompanied by a high fever.

Ate sushi on a date.

Shit my pants while we were walking afterwards. The other guy was a champ, we still hooked up afterwards.

A different time I was eating a fried chicken sandwich and the very last bite was100% raw and cold like it was sticking out of the fryer. The restaurant made me a brand new one for free. Ate that one and it was good. Didn’t get sick.

Years ago. Client on-site meeting had run long past lunch. Was in a hurry to drive back home and beat the traffic. It was 1-hour normally, but 2-3x during rush hour.

Saw a sign for a ‘natural’ market. Pulled in. They had an open-face cooler with prepackaged foods and drinks. Sandwiches looked a bit stale. Grabbed a ‘Fresh Vietnamese Shrimp Spring Roll’ and a drink. Hopped on the freeway. Ate in the car.

Never Again.

PS: Still got stuck in traffic.