The realization that I may never live to see capitalism collapse
I don’t distrohop or tinker with my Linux install anymore. I just install Linux Mint XFCE edition and don’t even bother changing the background.
Me too. But I stopped hopping ten years ago and settled down on Alpine, Void, or Gentoo, based on how fancy the hardware is, and the use case.
To me, the hopping part relates more to tinkering and fine-tuning. Today I prefer things just work. I wish no down time on all my devices and servers, because who has time to figure out why my photo doesn’t sync to my NAS, or dig up that piece of paper when my password manager does not respond because of the proxy service is down?
20+ years ago i spent hours each day developing my own lcars interface based on enlightenment; now i just use whatever x-windows environment the distro i’m using at the moment defaults to.
we must be twins separated at birth. lol
These are all cute, but when you start to lose your balance just turning your head or with basic movements, you really start to feel old.
It’s only a matter of time before you start falling.
Once you start falling, you start dying slowly
Every fart is a gamble
You don’t feel older mentally, but your body starts to betray you. I don’t mean stuff like your legs aching after getting up when sitting on the floor, or getting tired easier; it’s the subtle things that really are irritating. Like taking longer to learn something. Getting fatter even though you don’t really think your diet is bad. Taking longer to find that word you can’t think of or the name of that person, movie, place, whatever.
The irritations that add up are the ones that you don’t really expect, not just the ones you do like needing glasses.
Then there’s “time.” Fucking day goes too quick. Used to be you felt like you could get all kinds of shit done in a day. Now? Run two errands and half the day is gone. Wtf.
Also, “lasts”.
You start to realize that there are things approaching that are the last time you’ll see or do something. The last time you visit where you grew up. Last time your kid lived at home. Last car you’ll ever own.
Yeah, the lasts suck.
all my friends are either dead or my enemies
A girl that stopped me on the street to ask directions concluded the exchange with “Thank you sir.”
Also, the waiters now automatically bring the bill to me when I have lunch with coworkers.
Lots of things like grey hair, moving more slowly, injuries that I would have bounced away from before instead hurting for weeks or months.
But the one that hit hardest was a breakup I had a little while back. She was the love of my life and I fully intended to marry her, and when she ended it out of nowhere I was sad, but fine. She dumped me, and it sucked, but I also needed to finish a staff report for a Planning and Zoning Commission meeting that night. So I moved on.
The thing that upset me most was that I wasn’t that upset. There was a time in my life when I would have been a mess. But as I’ve aged, my emotions have become more regulated.
I miss being capable of that level of joy and pain.
Love definitely hits different in your 20’s. Though, the plus side is when something ends I don’t obsess over it like I did as a young man.
I remember in the mid-2010’s when Guns n Roses decided to reunite and tour, and my first thought was: “Why would I want to watch Axl Rose now that he’s old and fat?” That was a sign.
Gray pube.
Male pattern baldness sucks, esp as a trans girl
Injuries take longer to heal and recovery from the gym is slower
Hangovers now take two days
Skin dries out much faster (though this might be due to E)
- At 30 you reach the peak.
- At 40 you start to have small health problems that don’t go away and are mostly annoyance.
- At 50 you seek help because it’s more than annoyance. You get your first permanent medication.
- At 60 it’s somewhat limiting and for the first time causing Intermediate pain.
- At 70 it’s debilitating and pain is a familiar companion. You might have your first seizures.
- At 80 if it hasn’t killed you yet, it soon will. You are probably an invalid or close to it.
- At 90 if you are still hanging on, you are waiting for death and welcoming it.
That’s pretty much it, ±10 years.
If you spend most of your teenage and adult years over the weight of 220 pounds you can move your timetable ahead 10 - 15 years. Permanent medication at 30 or 40, debilitating pain especially in the knees at 45, heart problems anytime from 40-60, welcoming death at 80,
Then people call me insane for not wanting to make it past 40
That is what I “always” thought, motorcycling will get me and I wouldn’t want to live without being able to ride … but then it happens, you don’t and you get to live with what you never though you would be. …
Some friend came along today and had Frank Sinatra “my way” playing for a ring, immediately I searched the tube and found Sid Vicious’ “my way” and played it back … he never got old. I guess they can take our lives away but we get to keep the mind young if we want… and look back to see if we are happy with choices, even the worst mistakes.
The weirdest feeling is that the older you get the more you feel time is accelerating … you get older faster and faster after a certain age.
Yeah. It feels like the brain processes memories and their durations in relation to experienced total. When you are 5, one year is 20% of your life and feel like eternity. When you are 50 it’s 2% of your life and goes by pretty quick.
bleak
Nobody mistakes me for a teenager anymore.
Kids call me “lady”
I want to go to bed at 9 PM
I get excited for new appliances
I don’t feel happy
I feel like this is not a part of getting older. Arent there things that are exiting to you or make you happy?
Not many. Not as much as it used to be
Driving at night just sucks.
I hit that in my mid 20s. Turned out my headlights sucked and I needed to clean the inside of my windshield.
Aww I love that you still go out at night though. I don’t unless I bus.
Weirdly enough I got way better at night driving post-40.
It takes exponentially longer to heal from physical injury. That’s it so far, except for feeling calmer - older people are exceptional at emotional regulation, which oddly enough is why they are easier to scam, they don’t freak out as quickly.
But mostly it’s the slow healing. I am still strong and flexible but have to be careful and moderate because getting hurt will set me back much more than it used to.
My mom once made plans to come up here (she lived near Miami) to see Tab Benoit with some of her friends - by the day of the concert two of them were dead! She said “if you want to see your friend when you are old, go see them, don’t make plans.”
