I was born in Victorian Britain and have a very mirthful air about me.
So one day I was going about my merry business, being my jovial self.
When I’m walked a creature that saw what I was about, smoked at me and said ‘well aren’t you the gayest person I’ve met all day’.
I’m not sure how to feel tbh
I’ve had a colleague say that tea is “homo water”. I’m aro/ace, but most of my colleagues don’t know that. Similarly a straight colleague of mine got mocked for wearing pink (but not feminine) shoes. After some of these incidents we’ve kinda started pushing back against this nonsense by deliberately triggering these people and calling them out, which has worked so far.
To anyone who thinks tea isn’t for cishet men I have four words:
Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
😳😳 Hey, I’m a cishet man but thinking about joining jean-luc for some tea, earl grey, hot, really gives me the vapors.
Q also joined for some tea.
Earl gay
Being gay doesn’t mean someone is somehow less masculine, which is the heart of what the “homo water” idiot is implying.
Was the British Empire, upon which the sun never set, somehow not masculine enough? One could argue it ran on tea. Morally questionable, absolutely, but not manly enough?
Were the samurai somehow compromised in their masculinity because they drank tea, sometimes in elaborate ceremonies?
And, apart from tea, were the Sacred Band, the elite warriors who died to a man fighting Alexander the Great’s dad, somehow less manly because they were all gay?
I bet this colleague of yours also thinks straws are gay in this parlance, as if it’s somehow more manly to put one’s lips on the same glass rims touched by hundreds of others. I guess hygiene is not masculine or heterosexual.
And the thing is, even my rant here is problematic because it spawns from a lifetime of people equating gay with not being enough of a man, an attitude that infects my own thinking.
Shit, the most feminine of men is more of a man than these idiots if he stands up for his identity unapologetically.
Yeah this is kinda a point. People like this colleague seem to have gotten stuck in a highschool bully mindset ans never moved on. All of their jokes are about people who are different, their whole status seems to be based on their “masculinity”. In my experience this is the largest portion of homo/transphobes here in the Netherlands. People who aren’t violent or outright hateful, but rather just pushing outdated jokes and viewpoints and then getting annoyed by all the “woke bullshit” when they get called out.
My tactic so far is to not fully attack back, but rather staying friendly while showing my disappointment with this behaviour unless it goes too far. Most of these people are otherwise decent, and in my opinion may be swayed by someone “woke” who doesn’t go “full crazy sjw” but does call them out. Making a joke about minorities is way easier of you don’t know anyone well from those groups. They’re not crazy Trump voters, so they may still be steered in the right direction
I remember kids telling me I was crossing my legs in a gay way. I asked them who said so, and they said their teacher. That was the first time I realized some bullies grow up to be teachers.
It’s a tie between licking ice cream and saying something is adorable.
Sucking my best friend’s dick. I’m sorry, but if my friend is having a bad day, giving him a bro-job is not gay.
Not judging, but that is definitely gay.
Only if he gets a boner
Only if they kiss afterwards.
What if the kiss is just kissing the homies goodnight?
It’s not gay as long as the kiss is only 1/4" of tongue or less.
Put away the D, wait 10 mins and you’re good.
Sounds like a happy experience all round.
Just pretend he’s a woman.
I’m generally skeptical of comments on the internet, so almost every time I have read comments like this one that you’re reading right now, I’ve been like “yeah right”. Kinda like how “lol” means “laughing out loud” but when you read it online you don’t really expect whoever wrote “lol” to have laughed out loud? Anyway, I was drinking coffee, I read your comment, I snorted in laughter, and now my white shirt is full of coffee.
I guess I’m also kinda mad at myself for laughing so hard at such a silly joke. Regardless, have an updoot 👍
Washing your asshole… Seriously dudes, wash it anyway
And up to the first knuckle, you don’t have to jam soap up there but wash your nasty ass if you expect anyone to not gag when they get near your crotch.
Some of yall are nasty.
Yeah this is still astonishing to me as a guy. Why is basic hygiene gay?
Yes, why would you expect anyone to stuff something up there if you’re not going to at least keep it clean!?
As a kid I was told if you eat scrambled eggs for dinner you are gay. It affected me longer than I care to admit.
Remember to stay away from goat cheese too, it will give you saggy balls! I have this on good authority from a kid back in first grade and have since had a restrained relationship with goat cheese.
You know sometimes when I eat eggs after noon I start to wonder…
What possibly was the logic here?
One story my husband shared with me was when he and my dad stopped into a local bar after working hard on home renovations all day. They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”. So they ended up just leaving while the guy yelled at them saying they had to buy something.
A slightly different version of this concept also happened to my husband. At one point, 2 of our lady friends were talking about fashion and my husband, who is MUCH more fashionable than I am, chimed in. They proceeded to tell him that he’s “not allowed to have an opinion because he’s a man” which is the most double standard bullshit I’ve ever heard come out of any of my friends mouths. It’s stuck with me for a long time now because I think it keeps me honest with myself about standards and reminds me to think about how opinions change when you flip genders.
They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”.
Fellas, is it gay to practice basic personal hygiene?
I think the bar owner thought they might be going into the bathroom to do gay stuff, not that washing their hands is gay.
Two men walking in the bar and going straight to the bathroom together. Man jumped to conclusions.
Well it is called “homophobia” and a “phobia” is an irrational fear.
He lives his life in fear of two consenting men. Lol
I had the realization recently that homophobes think of gay sex as often as I do; but they have to jump through mental gymnastics to get it while I simply open up app and I’m back to normal an hour or so later.
I can’t image how hard it is to be happy and hold such a defining part of your life with such contempt at the same time and that was the first time I’ve ever felt sorry for a homophobe; it was for Aaron shock.
They went in straight. All good then.
Use chapstick
Read a book in public
Not go to gym
Play certain more “feminine” games
Those off the top of my head. I live in a nation of backwards idiots, so there for sure are more
Use chapstick
My first exposure to Big Bang Theory was the scene where they made fun of one of their friends for “wearing lip gloss” and refusing to call it chapstick. It was so weird and toxic and I assumed it was a gay panic joke before finding out it was the nerd show I was avoiding. Fucking terrible show.
Use chapstick
How I get around that: Wait until my girl uses hers, then kiss her.
It’s a bit of a running meme between us.
Around 2010ish I was thoroughly enjoying some Bells Two Hearted and other IPAs. My brother (2 years older) tried arguing that bud light is man’s beer, and my beers were fruity and girly. It certainly doesn’t matter to me, but the irony of choosing bud light, out of all the macro beers, is just 👨🍳😘>
Ah yes, IPAs, the least manly of beers.
Reading that anyone could think Bell’s Two Hearted is “fruity” is fucking wild.
I’m guessing he hadn’t actually tried it at the time.
Nothing more emasculating than drinking carbonated piss
Use a bidet
I once got called the f-slur for having the audacity to read a book in public, outdoors in front of the library.
Putting a wig on my best friend and spooning him while he’s asleep.
In jr. high i was called gay because I dressed semi decent. Jeans with a t-shirt a blazer was apparently too much for them lol
