Kids for me. They have improved my life more than anything else. Having the first two pushed me to go back to school and get a real job. I got more when my ex & I split and I married a guy with kids; we have a staggering number between us, most were teens or older when we got together and they are all close now, so they have a network of family to help and socialize with. The youngest is almost done with high school so we are in the final stretch of having them at home. The Thanksgiving feast here is insane, so many people, chaotic and fun.
Now - having said all that, I always knew I wanted kids, not necessarily to birth them but to raise them. Babies are adorable , little kids blistering cute, teenagers so much fun and occasionally helpful, and then they grow up and are actual people. It is work I find fulfilling and it helps the world to have educated, sensible, open-minded people. Most of my kids don’t want kids themselves and that’s fine! Everyone has their own life to live.
So for me, kids. For you, whatever you want, I don’t think it’s essential to become an adult and don’t think it’s the only way to get a family either.
I’m struggling with teenagers being enjoyable, both of mine were monsters. They are adults and doing well now, but I wouldn’t re-do the teenage years if you paid me. I’m glad your experience was much better.
I had two terrible toddlers, but once they were kids they were cool. Two who I guess will get a midlife crisis, because they never caused trouble as kids or teens. The rest I got when they were teens or older and while not all of them (bio or other) were academic superstars or high performing athletes or anything, they were all reasonable and interesting and diverse people by teenage years.
thanks for the opinion.
its so heartwarming to read your comment
pardon my english :)
I never want kids. I don’t know how they’re going to take the news.
If my life were financially more secure and if the climate didn’t seem objectively fucked in the future I could imagine myself being a happy father of kids
Yeah man, this is it. I like freedom and disposable income. But I feel like it would be rewarding raising kids. But also it’s sentencing them to whatever fucked up reality the last few generations have pushed us towards.
This is it for me. I absolutely love kids, but everything is so expensive. Having kids would be a big risk as things could quickly become very difficult is there was an emergency.
I always wanted children. Damn near every major life choice has been fueled by that. Took a job I knew I wouldn’t be happy at, but could be successful at to provide a better life. Yhe cars I’ve bought the safety rating for kids was to priority followed by reliability. The house I bought is within walking distance of every grade school, and the basement could easily be setup for a hangout spot for the teen years, oh and a good sized backyard for playing. One of the reasons I stayed at this job is I’m at max PTO and they actually offer paternity leave! I always make mental notes of fun places for kids so I could take them. When they were younger, and I was still considered cool, my niece and nephew wanted to move in with me 😆.
Just never met the right lady.
Oof. Not sure if you’re still trying, but maybe try focusing on (improving) yourself with the same dedication?
I just wanna say I am sorry that it is near impossible for single dads to adopt kids. I understand the reasoning but want to cry because there are kids who need parents but you can’t be the parent to one.
No biological kids. In my opinion, there is no reason to produce biological children when there already are millions of parentless, unloved children in foster homes.
That being said, some days I yearn to take care of a child - to know I have given an existing being the opportunity to a better life.
A couple of years ago, in Portugal, there were more couples looking to adopt than “viable” children up for adoption. While your statement makes total sense, it may be a insensible option on your country. Make due research!
There are options, you could foster too or adopt.
Thanks! I never thought of that.
Kids. I’ve known that’s what I wanted since I was eight years old.
great, hope you have a good life from this time and beyond,
pardon my english :)
No thank you, no kids.
I like my freedom and that it is quiet.
I’ve never really felt the urge to have kids. Plus it saves on resources and finances. I have nephews and nieces already and that’s good enough for me. I’m at the point where some of my friends are having kids. Others aren’t. I love being an uncle.
In any case, it depends on how much you as an individual want to have kids. For me, it just didn’t add up. My wife and I both don’t want them. We both work and want to retire as early as possible.
I’m a parent, and we made the conscious decision to become parents. That said, I can fully understand people who don’t want to have that responsibility. It can be exhausting and thankless, changing almost everything with your life, hobbies and habits.
On the other side of the coin, the depth of love you feel as a parent is impossible to describe. With that comes a set of incredible feelings, watching your children experience, learn and grow.
Basically, parenthood is almost completely thankless, but I wouldn’t give it up for the world.
And then the grandkids show up…it’s like amping up the feelings for my kids x10
All the fun, none of the long term responsibilities!
Not everyone who has kids ends up feeling this way though :(
I don’t have kids of my own, but through my time with my step-kids, I’ve learned I would’ve loved to have one or two. I totally understand people who don’t want kids. They can be a huge, expensive hassle. But I feel like I’ve gotten so much more back from them than it ever cost me. Plus they gave me this cup that I drink from every morning.
This is marvellous!
No kids, ever. I can hardly take care of myself, can’t even be trusted with a plant, and I find them disgusting. Who will care for me when I am old? I have worked long and hard with the elderly, and knowing how many of them were abandoned by their families, it is easy to see that my odds are better investing the money I would use to raise a child, in a retirement fund instead.
But with how broke I am, I am not even getting to do the retirement fund thing, so yay. Glad I didn’t let an ex change my mind when I was earning a lot back in the day, because those jobs got “optimized” and outsourced.
Kids.
Nothing comes close to how difficult it is. It takes everything.
Nothing comes close to how amazing it is, and I mean nothing! It’s fantastic, rewarding in so many ways, it even develops your character.
I didn’t know I wanted them.
Same boat. We didn’t realize we wanted it until it was happening. It sometimes isn’t so black-and-white.
I’m in my mid 40s now but I knew even when I was a kid that I never wanted kids. I see my friends and family now struggling with their own children and I just cannot imagine that life for me. I have no regrets not having kids, but if I ever did, I know it’s better to regret NOT having them than to regret having them.
I have one kid and it’s one of the best things so far life has dished out for me. I love him so much and he’s so much fun. I know one kid is my limit though. Enjoy!
Single uncle with 2 nieces is where it’s at 😉
