So she’s kind of been reluctant in people knowing where she lives. And from my understanding you can just leave if you want but when it comes to her house. And since yeah it’s her house I do wonder where the boundary lays. So I am an adult yes and my mom is out right now with my sister taking care of me and staying around the house which has me worried but she said she would be back either Sunday or Monday and I’m planning on taking my chances Sunday. But seriously what is the rules as it comes down to there are cameras my sister has access to so I think she might see me leaving anyway and question me on this. So what exactly are my rights as an adult? Can someone pick me up in the driveway and we just leave together and then come back home? I do think even if I leave and come back home that can show some form of trust and then I can eventually tell my mom what I did when she gets back home. I even hope I can use my recent birthday as an excuse to start dating. But the main point I want to bring up is if I can tell someone where I live and have them pick me up outside the house?
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Someone who is not a native English speaker who lives in an oppressive country and/or is controlled by a narcissistic mother who favors the sister.
Sounds more like someone who is mentally disabled to me, but it’s hard to tell.
Someone who is young, still at home, and has an overly controlling parent is trying to go on a date. They’re asking if it’s legal. They’re concerned their siblings will rat them out.
Are you being held prisoner by your family? Why is your sister taking care of you? Why is she watching you with cameras?
There might be a lot of context that explains these things. But just reading your post it sounds like you need counsel or professional help. Take care.
The cameras are on the outside and will send a notification if movement is detected.
There’s no legal reason you can’t do whatever you want.
There’s also no legal reason for your mom and sister to let you keep living there.
The worst-case scenario is that your mother kicks you out of the house. Which, in my opinion, wouldn’t be a bad thing for you if they do this because they’re upset you went on a date.
You only live once
Could we have the whole context please?
Why are you, a 25-year old, without driving licence in a car dependant zone? What do you do as a job? Do you have friends? Do you have hobby where you meet people?
You sound like a prisonner at your mother’s house and your date sounds like a little issue compared to the everything else (like loneliness, no freedom to go where you please, maybe no occupation?, vulnerability to your family ….)
This seems like something you all should be discussing in family therapy.
I’m guessing you don’t have a car. Is there somewhere nearby you could walk to or bicycle to, for someone to meet you and pick you up? Then you would only be on camera leaving the house, not breaking any house rules. This isn’t about law, this is about your relationship with your mother. You can do what you want, but different actions may have different results in your family dynamics.
this reads like a post written by a paranoid sovcit
It reads like some who is a victim of abuse.
Not enough make believe legal phrases
You’re probably going to have to have a chat with your mum about this because if there’s not a good specific reason for her concern, then it would be helpful to you if she could relax on this issue because it’s impinging on your ability to enjoy your life as an adult. She should care about that and if she doesn’t that tells you something. Ideally you could avoid the whole issue by meeting your date somewhere other than your house, although it will be awkward if you are unable to return home with them at any stage. Can your sister or any of your friends give you a ride to meet your date elsewhere?
A point of confusion I have from your post is whether you’re asking about your rights to date people, or just your rights to have them pick you up from the house. As far as dating people is concerned, you say you’re 25, you can do what you want neither your Mum nor your sister have any choice about it. You do not have to justify this or use your recent birthday as an excuse for anything because there’s nothing to excuse. Whether you want to date people is up to you and you alone.
If your Mum specifically requested that you not bring your date to the house it would be rude to just ignore her, particularly if she has some special reason to be extra careful, but it’s also a very strange request for her to make of her 25 year old adult-child so you’ll definitely need her to give a pretty good explanation why you shouldn’t do this. Similarly, it’s a very strange situation to be in that you’re worried about your sister watching camera footage of you as some kind of evidence of wrong doing, why is she in a position to do that and why would she want to? How old is she? Such behaviour is bizarre and controlling.
A lot of the details of your post sound like you’ve been living in strange and possibly abusive circumstances where your mother and sister are putting a lot of effort in to monitoring and controlling you, which they do not any rights to do. In most places I know of, a person is legally an “adult” at 18 years of age, how long have they been doing this to you? Were you allowed friends and relationship in school? What about afterwards at work or university?
Do you want to continue living with your mother? It might be a good idea to start gaining some more independence in your life so you can safely choose to live in a different arrangement if you want to. No offence, but the way you write does sound strangely young and naive for a 25 year old, especially the idea that you need to have either your mother or your sister around to look after you. Do you have friends that know about your living arrangements? Do you know many people outside of your house? If you tried to make friends and spend time with them, is that something your mother would try to stop you doing? It sounds like you’re very isolated and your Mum is keeping it that way on purpose. Unless there’s some very specific context that can explain all these details, then it sounds like there’s something very wrong about how your family is treating you.
Elsewhere you say you’re 25. As long as you’re in a free country and a judge has not pronounced you incapable of taking care of yourself, then yeah. You can leave the house without asking permission.
I would have downvoted this if I didn’t worry about OP’s safety
There are no roles, only consequences. The real question here is what are the consequences, and we can’t know that.
Is there some sort of overriding reason that your mom has chosen to obscure her address? If not, then no, there is no reason to accede to these ridiculous demands.
The reason is her mom could kick her out.
Op is male
Yes, of course that’s allowed. Be aware that if you’re name of not on the lease or deed that your mother can kick you out though. Depending on where you live you may have less rights if you aren’t paying rent. In the US it doesn’t matter if you’re paying rent and they’d have to go through a formal eviction process. While of hope your mother wouldn’t kick you out for going on a date, the situation already seems extreme. But yes, you’re legally allowed to do this.
I think you should ask your sister about this. It’s her job to take care of you. Should your mom find out not only will she be mad at you, she’ll be mad at your sister. Your mom might even find someone else to take care of you
What exactly are you worried about?
If you are worried for your safety from your family, make a plan to leave, dating is the least of your worries.
If you don’t think it’s right for your date to know where your mom lives, then just meet them out where you are going, tell them you don’t need to be picked up or dropped off. Have the date, say goodbye, go home.
