I don’t know how to express or articulate my thoughts and my vocabulary and grammar gets messed up the more I write so I will just write simply.
What I’m trying to say is that every day or hour or minute or everytime you think, you feels like your original selves is dying. I know that we are constantly growing but i just can’t stop thinking that whenever we grow or learning new things or start to think differently, our past selves is dead. I think back to my past selves in middle school, highschool and from 2022 and think, aren’t they dead? No matter what i do or think or whatever happens to me, i can’t bring back the personalities or "me"s from the past. They remain dead and continue to being dead. Unless they are exist in another timeline or universe.
What exactly is identity, consciousness or the self which is me? I don’t know nor understand but this idea just stuck in my mind and occasionally appears when I’m bored, stressed or relaxed.
I went through a period of this when I was younger. I did not find a satisfactory way of dealing with those thoughts, but they did eventually recede.
There’s quite a bit of philosophy out there abut this. It might help to read about it. Some physics topics are related, like the Planck scale. If you want to read about what others have thought on the topic, here’s a starting point.
So: yes, you’re not alone.
I don’t think strangers on the internet will provide you with answers. You will need to put in the work yourself to get an answer.
Questions for you: Are you your environment? Are you your hands? Are you your thoughts? Are you your emotions? Are you your subconscious? Are you your memories?
Are you the experience that you experience? Or are you the part that experiences?
Can you see that part? Does that part changes over time?I would recommend reading philosophy books and ponder about this stuff.
Your past selves aren’t dead. You just evolved into what you are now. That’s what we do.
What do you mean by “evolve”? I think my past selves is dead because I can’t experience the exact same consciousness of the past selves of me again. Doesn’t that count as being “dead”?
By that rationale, wouldn’t other people then also be dead, as you cannot experience their consciousness?
You can go to past, but nobody is there anymore
Related: Ship of Theseus
You also replace the atoms inside of your body and nether your state of mind nor your physical body are the same in a few moments. Everything changes and time moves forward, relentlessly.
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