Meeting people, especially since I really dislike the idea of making someone uncomfortable or putting them is such a position. If I’m out in public I do not want to ask out someone who’s working a service job and I rarely talk to people otherwise. So unless there’s a good setting for natural talking to happen it feels rude/unwanted as they just want to do their thing in public.

Talking to people I don’t know and initiating conversations in general. If the other person doesn’t approach me first, I can’t do it myself. I’m not much into dating, but it’s really inconvenient for socializing in general.

Myself, I’m my own cockblocker 😅

I’d say I have 3 problems:

• I have zero game, can’t read signals, don’t know how to appear interesting, all that stuff
• Despite being 32, I still don’t know what I want, my sexuality is very fluid, so one day I may be super attracted to a girl, and 3 days later I may not care enough to even text her
• I don’t put myself out enough, I don’t want to use dating apps but I also don’t want to visit places where I get in contact with a lot of people because I get anxious

I haven’t dated in almost thirty years but I think what would be the worst is finding out someone is heavily conservative when you aren’t. Or discovering six months into a nice relationship that he’s a closet antivaxxer or something, basically where you find out something that really goes against your values. Thankfully many of those people are obnoxious and loud.

Talking without making myself look stupid

Up until recently, I hadn’t gone out dating in over 15 years. I feel like the thing I struggle with the most is finding people who would be interested in me in a romantic/sexual way. I’m not a social butterfly by any measure, but I am able to put myself out there. I’m also not the type of guy that exudes charisma. I also have a semi-permanent resting bitch face/scowl. And at 6’3” and 260lbs, I feel that intimidate people. If I were with a group of people that I felt comfortable with, I know things would be a lot different. I also tend to overshare. 😉

I don’t want kids so that narrows down the dating pool to something more like a dating puddle.

I generally keep to myself. Every social skill I have comes from deliberate practice.

I did manage to find a girl. What I did:

Figure out what my strengths are and in what situations I get to show them. I get compliments on having a pleasant voice. So anywhere I’ll talk some is good.

Work on mitigating your weaknesses.

Work on being a {pick one or more: fun/pleasant/useful/positive/etc} person to be around.

What I did not tell you is how long I had to do this.

Poor, unemployed and depressed. Also because conservative society.

• Decades-long crippling social anxiety
• Money

Finding women for whom my appearance isn’t a dealbreaker. I have moderate to serious rosacea and acne on my face. That filters out 90%+ of women before we even speak to each other.

Finding things to say is the most difficult. I often get flustered and have nothing to say. Basically become brain dead in front of people in general not just women.

I’m an astoundingly selfish person, and unapologetic about it. Makes for having relationships, romantic or otherwise, pretty much impossible.

I’m middle aged, dated, had relationships in the past, etc., and honestly just don’t have the drive to make relationships work. I do the bare minimum to keep my professional relationships in tact, which honestly is exhausting enough, and otherwise just keep to myself. It’s so much easier than when I was trying so hard to pretend I was interested in where another person was coming from or what they were going through. Now at least that effort ends after I clock out for the day, and there’s less socializing where I work, so there’s less of those kinds of social expectations overall.

Predatory lesbian brainworms, I have forced myself to set the benchmark of “if someone repeatedly compliments your appearance they will probably be flattered even if they don’t reciprocate” and that has helped.

I have Asperger’s, so it’s a big struggle for me in general.

A few days ago, I spent £89.99 on a three month subscription to Hinge X. This is something I’ve been contemplating for a while because I’m a 32-year-old virgin, have been single for the past two years (my previous ex basically led me on and used me for my money in what I can best describe as a 2.5 year on/off intimacy-free relationship), and I thought that in desperate enough to actually pay for a dating app.

Lo and behold, after sending well over a hundred likes with written prompts which I put genuine thought into, no new matches. And I’ve been keeping a mostly intricate log of this shit because if you’re blowing the equivalent of 3 WoW subscriptions on a rejection simulator, you may as well keep tabs on whether it works.

I’m about 80% convinced that I either overwhelmingly give women the ick, or Hinge is a scam.

My social life is only a bit better. Work is quite solitary for me, and I mainly hang out with a friend group on Thursday evenings and weekends that do pub karaoke.

Actually finding people i guess? I meet tons of people with my shared interests but none I want to date. I am demi so maybe that’s part of it