And I know we’re mostly atheists here, but please keep the theological discussion to a minimum and appreciate the lighthearted hypothetical scenario for what it is.

  • 0xtero@beehaw.org
    0·
    9 months ago

    Thou shalt not steal if there is a direct victim.
    Thou shalt not worship Pop Idols or follow Lostprophets.
    Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Dekker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barrett in vain.
    Thou shalt not think any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile. Some people are just nice.
    Thou shalt not read NME.
    Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
    Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
    Thou shalt not judge a book by its cover.
    Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.
    Thou shalt not buy Coca-Cola products.
    Thou shalt not buy Nestlé products.
    Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend’s best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.
    Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
    Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls’ pants. Use it to get into their heads.
    Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks.
    Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you’ve done your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.
    Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just 'cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied that you’re never gonna fucking talk to.

    There’s a second verse, but I think I’ll leave it at that.