Please speak to a counsellor, and move out of your mothers house. Mass murder almost always starts with hurting the womem in your home

if the only thing stopping you from hurting people is legality and morality you need help

Do you feel that way because you’re being abused? Or do you feel that way because you might be an undiagnosed psychopath (and I do mean that in the clinical sense)? Because that’s two very different things.

I’m not qualified to tell you what to do if it’s the former; I don’t know how unsafe you are but I would encourage you to get out of the situation. I hope others can be mor helpful.

If it’s the latter, then you need to start seeing a therapist. If you want to be able to continue to be a part of civil society, you’ll need to do a lot of work to curtail those impulses. Again, like the other scenario I hope others more qualified than I can be more helpful

I am familiar with a child abuse victim who feels this way. Not like actively seeking it out, but they wouldn’t regret it much if it came to that point.

But I’m not personally qualified to comment on it. If it’s becoming more than a passing thought and starting to bother you in everyday life or causing actively homicidal thoughts, it’s a good time to seek professional help before it gets you into trouble.