Hey all! This may be kind of a dumb post as I know I need to make this decision myself, but I‘d sure love some advice. My oldest dog is 11, going on 12. The poor girl is diabetic, blind, has fatty lipomas, and mobility issues due to diabetes, breed, and age. This morning, we are fairly sure she had a stroke of some sort (the vet agrees with this diagnosis so far, blood work and an X-ray are incoming). She eats but doesn’t really want to get up much, and is generally just resting most of the day. She still has a bit of sparkle in her eyes but she doesn’t really seem to have much energy left. The vet hasn’t mentioned it, but I‘m pretty sure it’s about time to say goodbye. The most important thing to my partner and I is that once she’s suffering, it’s time to let go. She just ate a nice full dinner but still doesn’t want to get up and do much. How long would you give her? Till she’s not eating? The vet hasn’t brought it up yet, so maybe I should be patient, but she’s been such a good friend, I don’t want her to suffer. I’m just at a loss, and this is the first time I‘ve had to do this horrible calculus.
Quality of life my friend goes for humans and animals. It is extremely difficult, and you will know best if she is suffering, but I’m so sorry, I think you already know the answer to your question.
Thank you for your kind response. I sincerely appreciate it. The blood work literally just came back and was mostly ok, but my baby just isn’t enjoying life the same. I think I‘ll wait for the x-ray but go ahead and bring the transition up with the vet. Much love to you.
If she’s not in pain, I would let her try to just pass natural, but the moment she starts feeling pain and there’s nothing you can do to help and it’s clear she’s close to passing, would be the time to let go, which even when it’s the right thing it’s hard to do.
I don’t have any experience in this so I can’t really give you an answer beyond what you said about once she’s suffering, but I just wanted to say that I’m sorry this is happening to yous.
Thank you! I really appreciate your empathy at this time.
You might want to ask your vet for advice rather than waiting for them to bring it up.
They’ll have a lot of experience and might be better able to contextualize her subjective experience of the symptoms.
This is 100% the right way to go about it. If you tell them you want to let her go at the right time, but want to give her the best, most comfortable life possible while you can, they’ll be able to help you plan for what you can do to make her happy.
The only advice I can give is that if you do need to put her down sometime, make sure you’re in the room, and comforting them until the end.
Yes to being in the room!!! The stories of the pets looking around for their best friend in their last moments breaks by heart.
Also, for those that don’t know, there’s in-home services for this so it doesn’t need to be in a strange place for them.
(And how fucked up that in most places we have that for our pets but not our sick loved ones.)
I’m so sorry for what you and your girl are going through. You are both so lucky to have each other. She’s been holding on for you because she loves you so much and you have taken such good care of her. I read somewhere that to our animal friends we are like elves, so long lived and seemingly unchanging that their lifetimes are so short to us but we are their whole lives. I think that you will know when it’s time, you can probably tell when she is in pain whether she wants you to or not. In the mean time snuggle her, spoil her, feel the warmth and texture of her fur. The time you have now is so precious. When she refuses food, or struggles to breathe it’s time. But for now, just love her and give her some pets for me too ❤️
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your kindness. Thank you so much. I’m crying hard after reading that, but you’re right. This girl has been strong so long, it’s time to return the favor. We are going to go ahead and get her x-rays on Tuesday (earliest they can do) and enjoy our time fully till then, barring any unforeseen changes. You‘ve really touched me with your words. I think it’s about that time, as hard as that may be.
I just let go of my 16 year old cat this week. I resolved I would do it if he started hiding (cats do that when suffering) or once I was sure he would only get worse. He never did start hiding, but he stopped eating and got so weak that he had trouble getting himself up.
It was tempting to wait and have as much time as I could with him, but I also very much did not want him to die at a vet (though that was plan b if he took a bad turn). I scheduled at-home euthanasia, and it was very odd to have an exact clock on my best friend. I cried so much in the days before and after. But I do feel it was the right decision - he died peacefully with his family around him.
To me, love is simply wanting to be in the presence of another. And true love is to be willing to give even that up if it’s in their best interest.
