Biden starts going on about anti-Zionism being antisemitism; Trump’s counterargument is an antisemitic dogwhistle

• Biden faints
• Trump walks over and slaps Biden
• Trump just leaves
• Biden justifies Israels attacks
• Violent demonstratos occupy CNN
• Terrorist attacks during the debate
• CNN cuts the debate short
• Trump gets caught with wireless bone conductor transmitter in his butt
• Biden reveals palm full of keywords written with a pen
• Trump talks about Stormy Daniels not being the best in bed and not worth the money

Thanks for setting this monkey paw off there buddy

I expect it’ll probably be relatively boring. Trump likely has been coached to hell and back not to say unhinged shit. Of course, he can’t control himself so he’s going to say some unhinged shit, but it’s definitely not going to be to the same frequency and magnitude that he normally is.

Meanwhile, Biden is going to play the “Trump is unhinged, so Republicans please vote for me” strategy, which is going to be unexciting to both Republicans and Democrats.

I think the debate itself is going to be dull, and what will really sway the population is what the media and social media run with afterward. ie, it’ll be determined entirely by who has the more embarrassing slip-up. God this country is fucked

Probably the worst thing would be if they both walked to the middle of the stage and started 69ing each other before announcing that they’re partnering up and running together for the 2024 ticket as co-presidents.

I was going to write a long series of events that grew in oddity and hilariousness until we all died a gruesome death, but that’s a lot of effort, so I’ll just put this here.

The debate site is stormed by fascist militia, most democrats in the building are killed. Trump survives thanks to far right connections and mainstream media plays him up as a profile in courage.

Both of them audibly and uncontrollably fart instead of just Donnie VonShitzenpantz

Biden starts talking to ghosts…