I’m reminded of Bender:

“This isn’t even about you”

“That’s impossible!”

I used to work with truckers, and a LOT of them started out like this.

I used to use high-powered (4KW) lasers at work every day. Now I make 3D models and sit at a desk.

Guess which job I like more.

“www” for World Wide Web has always bugged me. World Wide Web is three syllables, WWW is nine.

Where is the hand-crank centrifuge?

The meanest, most dangerous dog I knew was an american eskimo owned by my ex wife. This was a 20 pound fluffball, and he looked like he would be friendly and fun to scratch behind the ears.

He loved to bite people, especially children. He had a specific thing he would do when someone looked at him: he would look up and smile, while vigorously wagging his poofy tail. You’d reach down to pet that brilliant white, angel-soft fur, and as soon as you were close enough, he would take a chunk out of your hand or arm. This wasn’t a playful bite, he would bite down hard and hang on.

“Andor” is the best Star Wars series.

If only there was some way to consume weed that didn’t involve smoking it.

It’s so wild how much I kept myself from meeting/talking to women and staying inside because I “knew” they wouldn’t like me.

I worked up the nerve to ask a beautiful woman what she was doing after work, and this stunning 32 year old blonde actually blushed, she got nervous, and she invited me to her house where we hooked up. This gave me the confidence to ask another woman for her email address months later, and I’ve been happily married to that one for 14 years.

Potatoes are so easy to grow. You can grow a lot of them in a trash can full of dirt.

I remember my parents talking about some thing or other in star trek that would be impossible because you’d need “terabytes of storage, and that’s probably not possible”. And now you can go buy 1 tb of storage and lose it in your couch cushions.

Speaking as someone who grew up in the 1980s…

Micro-SD cards almost don’t make sense to me. I’m not saying I don’t believe in them, because of course I have a few of them. Obviously they exist and they work. But. They’re the size of a fingernail and can hold billions of characters of data. I uwve a camera that ive put a 128 GB microSD card in. A quick tap on the calculator tells me that’s over 91,000 3.5" floppy disks. Assuming they’re 3mm thick, that’s a stack of disks 273 meters tall. But this card is so tiny that I have to be careful not to lose it.

I remember when I first applied for a job in a fabrication/machine shop. One of the questions in the interview was “Do you know how to read a tape measure‽” followed by “demonstrate that you can use a tape measure” along with some other fun ones like “what is the difference between these two pieces of material” (one was aluminum, the other stainless) and other such things. I remember being surprised/disappointed that there were grown people who couldn’t read a tape measure.

I’ve worked in machine shops and drafting offices for years now, and I’m no longer surprised by people who can’t use basic measuring tools. Still disappointed though.