I’m sorry you’ve struggled so much with that, but I’m glad you’ve consistently found help on here and on hexbear. ❤️

As shitty as it is, it makes a kind of sense to me why Christianity is in such a dismal state: in order for an institution that influential to be allowed to exist under capitalism and imperialism, it gets warped into another extension of it. Or in the best case, such as the Catholic Church, might do some stuff for charity but gets defanged of any revolutionary potential. Though “best case” feels weird to say in reference to the Catholic Church when also considering its history of abuse. As I understand it, they are being more diligent now with hiring standards and the like to try to stop the problem from continuing, but that doesn’t undo the damage already done.

Anyway, yeah, a Christianity under communism would probably look much more like the stuff about “when I was hungry, you gave me to eat; when I was thirsty, you gave me to drink” kind of spirit of it. I still wouldn’t personally believe in the Christian faith, but it’d have to change from the capitalist attitudes to co-exist with a more AES state vanguard type of situation.