It might be 5%, it might be 16%. Those are basically the same number, moving along
Honestly, feels like they asked like 30 people total
wordsmith, you’ve caused me to laugh, well done!
Does this weird anyone else out? Graduated HS in 1989 and it seemed like we were all fucking, even the nerds. I’m short and scrawny, still tripped and fell into pussy now and again.
There’s something really alarming about this, can’t put my finger on it. It’s certainly weird that today’s young people aren’t fucking when we were going nuts during the AIDS epidemic, risking our lives for that cookie. Sex is such a basic human need I can’t imagine what going without is doing to mental health.
It think that rather than early - really early - exposure to porn turning everyone into sex-fiends, it’s actually terrifying a lot of them. What if I don’t want to gargle cum like Adriana Chechik? What if I don’t have a 10 inch cock to stuff my stepmother with?
A more optimistic reading might be that masturbating is easier, freer, quicker, and more accepted than ever before. Rather than risk an STI, pregnancy or human relationship, just crank one out and get back to work.
Even the boys I knew in high school already had messed up ideas about sex from porn, and that was 20 years ago.
I never got into visual porn, which made for confusing experiences dating guys who knew little else, in my teens and early 20s. Aside from the obvious confusion that brought to the bedroom about what we were expecting, it was surprising how many guys had perfectly wonderful bodies yet thought they were inadequate. One guy had a 8.5" (21cm)* long dick and still thought it wasn’t big enough. I told him, “Dude, you repeatedly stab my cervix. Trust me, you’re big enough.”
It seems that dick insecurity is really common, and that no one size is immune, no matter what partners tell them.
There is something wrong with your unit conversion to cm there. That, or you dated a horse.
Lmao. Thank you, fixed.
it seemed like we were all fucking, even the nerds
Checking in as a nerd who went to high school in the 00’s. Yes, we were still fucking then. Especially the marching band nerds. Don’t get me started on what people got up to on our long bus trips…
LOL my god you band fags were THIRSTY. (Archie Bunker voice: What?! That’s what we called them people in dose days!) One of my band friends was little Miss Christian, plainly dressed, straight A kinda kid, raspy voice from an emergency tracheotomy.
One day in advanced European history, hissing at me, “Have you tried tying Debbie (my gf) up?! Steve tied me to the bed and it was awesome! Railed my brains out!” “👀 Uh, yeah, we tried that and loved it!” Next thing we’re comparing notes on knots and BDSM techniques. “Couldn’t get away, right?” Then class started. Back to business!
Still laugh my ass off at the American Pie band camp chick! Yes kids, we did that shit.
LOL, first time I got my finger wet was at a church camp retreat. They had to know what was going to happen if you throw a bunch of 14-17yo kids in sleeping bags and turn the lights off. Movie night at the church down the street was date night! Yeah, just going to throw this blanket over us. It’s cold, OK?!"
But it was also something people lied a lot about so the numbers could be shaky. Maybe we should redo it and ask old people when they got laid the first time.
Yeah I learned the math from American Pie. But we got laid more, because we met people in the real world more. Also when dating sites first came out, they were actually built to find you a partner. I got laid so much more from those apps. I hear today those apps main goal is to keep you on the app. (So glad met my wife on OkCuipd before the enshitiction)
I mean I once met woman from Craigslist on personal connections or whatnot. Not even sure that a thing now.
Plus younger people aren’t sex crazed like we were. I have three boys. Oldest 21 to youngest 16. Two in relationships. At 16 I was chasing girls like crazy. My 16 year old son could care less. He has other priorities. And my middle son isn’t trying to get laid with his trans boyfriend. I mean as a father kinda glad they aren’t out knocking up girls and shit. At same time do worry about it. But think it’s us not them.
Probably don’t help that life harder now and their future looks bleak.
About the dating apps. Craig’s list took the connections section down because escorts were using it and they couldn’t fight the legal battle.
My wife and I met on OK cupid, and we feel like we got the last train out of dodge.
Yep me and my wife agee. OkCuipd was great, and Plenty of Fish got me laid so much back in the day. Didn’t know about the thing with Craigslist. Last used it in 2012. Met wife in 2013, and so freaking glad. Heard OkCuipd went to the Tinder method.
What really sucks is that like one freaking company owns most all dating apps. And they company cares nothing about finding people a mate.
Same here, two boys 16 & 18, the first just doesn’t care it seems, the second has a gf but it’s not like in the day where you’d have crazy sex if you could or so it feels 🤷🏼♀️.
My hypothesis is the decline is caused by a multifaceted change in environment:
- cost of living crisis caused by inflation, folks are making only about 1/3rd what their grandparents made for the same labor
- debt crisis caused by the above, crippling debt causes anxiety
- educational treadmill, folks are working harder for top jobs, so schooling takes longer and is much harder
- hormonal crisis, many young women are on hormonal birth control which is well known to significantly reduce libido in a large percentage of the population
- food supply crisis, cheap, poor quality highly-processed food make folks just slightly less healthy all the time, possibly can affect libido with lowered testosterone caused by preservatives
- social media crisis, evolution caused us to want to be nosy about 70 members of our tribe, not hundreds of millions. Social media is causing us to have the social equivalent of Daredevil’s acute hearing, but it’s addicting so folks can’t easily shut it off (as I write on social media…)
- fitness crisis, many folks just aren’t healthy enough to lift and run, so they have less testosterone which lowers libido for everyone regardless of sex/gender
- reproductive fear, folks realize they have it bad with little hope of improvement, so they don’t want the same for their offspring
- perfectionism causing a lack of confidence, being able to see the best in the world at any second on your phone causes acute perfectionism that prevents folks from even trying. Look up rates of musical instrument playing to see how few are even starting compared to 20 years ago. Skills in an area lead to increased confidence which makes a person more confident
- protective parenting combined with extremely restrictive schooling, leads to less “free time” where folks can hang out and build social skills
- hyper niche porn on demand, every person can access the porn of their choice on demand at all times. This causes unrealistic tastes and lack of confidence.
- infection fears, everyone is taught from a young age to be afraid of STDs and pregnancy, so it’s a looming fear in many
- entertainment quality, we’ve created the most addicting games, movies, shows, and apps. These make it more interesting to sit and zone out than socialize
- anxiety/depression crisis from the above leads to a population with lower libido, SSRIs are well known to reduce libido in a large subset of the population
All in all, we’ve got a society that is nearly perfectly designed to reduce libido in the population. Those that manage to avoid or ignore these challenges find a very small dating pool compared to decades past. Those that pair off are less likely to have offspring, such that we will likely have a population collapse in the next hundred years. Hopefully by then have figured enough of this out that we build a society that makes it easy to be a human who finds joy and love in other humans and not in a screen.
Lost third spaces, hanging out with other kids and helicopter parenting/stranger danger.
Those are all great points. As a society we are likely suffering from a polycrisis and no single root cause.
“The raindrop never thinks itself responsible for the flood” or something
This post is so amazing and complete I have nothing to add but my appreciation.
Thanks!
Speculating wildly, I think it was a lot more common back then for teenagers to just disappear off for hours on end without their parents knowing where they were.
I think the far-right “manosphere” influencers are a good indication at what it does to mental health. Fascism, and extremist groups in general, seem to thrive on men not getting laid. IDK what the cause of this is though; I suppose more digital, less IRL social entertainment. They drink and do less drugs, which could be a reason too (especially drinking).
Edit: This is a self-reported statistic too. It may just be men are more comfortable reporting that their virgins instead of lying.
If you’re over 40 how many times did you get laid because “One thing led to another”? Like you ever chill and vibe so hard with someone you feel the need to fuck about it?
In the tail end of my singleness I found that I was able to have more and better conversations with women online or via txt/dm because we could share things and experiences without being in the same room… But we werent in the same room, to shoot your shot you had to arrange something, give them a chance to overthink it, give yourself a chance to overthink it, sort out the scheduling issues, work out transport and then hopefully when you get into the same room still have the same magic going on.
When we were bored we hung out to not be bored, sometimes that led to fucking.
I’d say 10% not fucking is pretty standard/average and your thinking you were all (100%) doing it is either clouded by your own experiences or you grew up in a very liberal community where it deviates.
Why its rising is questionable. Personally, I’d say its due to rising depression rates… well, it correlates at least.
very liberal community
1980s Oklahoma
very liberal community
Missed the mark on that one!
See this comment? Amazing!
i get a sense of unease. the vibes have deteriorated to historical lows.
If they changed the question now they wouldn’t have continuous data going back to 1989 anymore.
Sure, but like… maybe that data isn’t really relevant or trustworthy either if that’s how it was phrased?
Pollster: “Have you ever had sex with a woman?”
Closeted sexually active 28 year old gay guy when being gay could get you ostracized or killed: “Oh… y… yeah! I love the vaginas. So… slippery and… moist (gag)”
Pollster: “NICE!” high five
Yeah, this problem applies to all questions.
They could have just removed the word “female.”
OP is saying gay sex being excluded, iiuc. Trend seems extreme since 2008, and it would be nice to see the spikes to 16% or so 3 times between 1989 and 2008. The spikes could be corelated to rising stock market bubbles for all I know. Seems over double the 1989-2008 average that I guesstimate at 12%.
Maybe gay men used to experiemnt with women to “find out”? Maybe harsher economic inequality keeps men home? It’s not obviously internet porn, which became available in late 90s, though 20 years later would get a lot of under 30s.
It’s not obviously internet porn
It’s social networks and the loss of 3rd (and 1st) places. Everybody knows what the problem is. Everybody has some idea how to fix it (look how to fix car transit). Every person in power is intent on refusing to improve things in any way and making it worse.
They’re going with human sacrifice rules
Is it when the respondent turns 18 or when their female prey turns 18? The White House is asking for clarification.
“Jane, did you compare the percentage of teenage male Rex Manning fans to the incidence of homosexuality amongst teenage males?”
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