“I don’t want to sleep with you.”
is often
“I don’t want you to exist.”Sometimes it’s “I want to sleep with you, but I don’t want to want to sleep with you.”
Or “I want to sleep with you but I’d rather you die than have anyone find out.”
Well there isn’t an inherent connection between those two ideas. So I take it you’re looking for reasons to be suspicious
Not from me it isn’t!
I need someone to explain the male gaze thing to me better than the last person did. They made it sound like it’s bad to like what’s good.
The point of the meme isn’t about whether you personally would want to sleep with someone who is trans, and whether that makes you a good person or not, its about how the first, second, and last thing a lot of people think about wrt trans people is whether they are fuckable or not. Its not good to objectify people, if you do it is transphobic/sexist/racist/whatever dehumanizing. But if you see trans people as people, and respect their gender, their right to express themselves openly even if you aren’t sexually attracted to them, then this meme will never be a problem for you. And if you feel personally attacked by this meme, try and figure out why, because it’s probably not about you. Don’t be a creep isn’t that complicated, folks
NGL im super into tomboys and genderfluid people. But the idea of having sex with someone who has a penis is off-putting to me. Idk
Lucky for you, some trans people who are AMAB get surgery to change that penis into a vagina or something else. There are also plenty of gender fluid or nonbinary trans people who are AFAB and don’t have or want a penis.
However, maybe get to know someone first and decide if you are attracted to them as a person before reducing them to their genitals. There are a lot of ways to have sex with trans people, and if you’re into them, they’re into you and they happen to have a penis, I’m sure you two can figure something out.
Yeah I’m not saying I dont want to have sex with AMAB people, quite the contrary. And having an emotional connection is super important to me anyways. I just don’t think I could figure something out I’d actually be happy with when my partner still has a penis. And I’m not sure if this is wrong, but I don’t have a lot of time or energy to meet many people, so I prefer kinda pre filtering people to figure out whether its worth it to get to know them. Kinda the way most people just filter by male/female, I guess.
You seem like a good and reasonable person, and I’m glad you’re aware of your feelings and not reacting super negatively towards the existence of trans people over them. I’d recommend thinking through this a bit more sometime.
Sure, most people are only into men or women, but most people don’t start off getting to know someone before sex is on the table with a “by the way, what genitals do you have?” That feels reductive and is a major red flag to most trans people. It’s similar to how chasers who pursue trans women with a penis as a fetish. We’re so much more than our genitals.
In case you ever end up in sex talks with someone who either at that moment comes out as trans or mentions what genitals they have, handle that conversation delicately. Many of us and don’t want the genitals we have but surgery is too expensive, but we also don’t want to have sex with someone agonizing over our genitals or don’t want that part interacted with at all if we do. This is also why many trans people date within the trans community to alleviate these kinds of issues.
Yeah that definitely makes sense to me. Thanks for your explanation. Being perfectly honest, I’ve never dated a trans person, I just kinda suck at dating in general. It’s something I’m working on in therapy and I’ll keep your advice in mind for whenever it becomes relevant.
What are these letters?
AMAB is Assigned Male at Birth meaning typically born with genitalia interpreted as a penis but is sometimes due to parents/doctor choosing if the baby’s genitalia is not a penis or vagina.
Likewise, AFAB is Assigned Female at Birth meaning typically born with genitalia interpreted as a vagina but is sometimes due to parents/doctor choosing if the baby’s genigalia is not a penis or vagina.
No thanks.
I’ve always contended that you shouldn’t care about what turns someone on unless you wanna fuck em.
Weird how they feel the need to announce it instead of just having it. Almost like announcing it serves a social function, and it is obvious if you frame the same phenomenon through another bias:
“I only sleep with blond haired blue eyed white women”
Also fuck you have no idea how often I hear something about how trans women are unfuckable after turning a guy down.
Exactly - if you don’t want to date a trans person don’t. If someone conceals it, that’s not an issue with them being trans, that’s an issue with them being dishonest. It’s ok to dislike dishonest people.
[Laughs in pansexual]
I am being harrased by the women lobby
Removed by mod
I’m a woman so I was never in a situation like this. I have more than few trans friends, including my neaphew god-father (that used to be his god-mother) and the problem with this meme is that the 👍is never the answer the comunity gives. They are indeed always very angry and are usually the first ones to say “transphobic”. As I told my friend I think that we should use the word Transphobic with more care since there are a lot of really hateful people in the world that do indeed want to hurt you guys,.
