One time a phone demon called my mom and tried to convince her that her grandson was in jail and she needed to send the police dozens of phone cards right away or he was in big trouble. And that’s not even the worst one. I wish she just got calls trying to get her to buy bug spray.

If you’re going to write a power fantasy for the internet at least make it cool. Add some lasers or epic street fights. Add in some part where you outsmart the librul professor who hates god. “I found a job in a shitty industry and only prostitutes will fuck me” is not the flex you think it is.

Someone else in my household pays for it so I have it for now… but I haven’t touched it in months.