“did you slap fletcher reed today?”

Was working in a deli department of a grocery store. I think it was my second or third week there, and i was slicing balogna for a customer. Went to peel some of the casing off and got the tip of my thumb instead. Still think the lady who unkindly yanked my stitches out at the urgent care caused the lil flap to come off. It was 2009 and I’m actually impressed i got some tactile feeling back through the scar. I swear it fucks with the touch screen though.

I’m making do with pear launcher. Only thing I’m sad about off the top of my head is you can’t change the padding on widgets to fit whole screen.

Compromise: be the king of Doritos but also have ample opportunity for a job that actually pays a living wage; and good insurance to coincide with said title

I return with a new idea: crime scene photos (a big stupid car parked in front of my my small ULEV hit it backing out)

A foreboding image of a lone shopping cart