You can buy the Tailscale/Mullvad plugin, I think that’s the only way to make the two work together “seamlessly”. I didn’t want to pay for that, so I put a reverse proxy and tailscale on another VM and pointed the reverse proxy to the services I want to access remotely with tailscale.

yeah, and then i think about how i can pretty much do whatever I want anyways

In my experience, libertarianism appeals to a particular type of naive and possibly insecure person, who has some kind of emotional need to make broad declarations about things/people they have no real-world experience with.