Thanks for this.

Very funky, I like it.

I don’t think my brain likes me much these days.

Admittedly, it used to like me a lot less, but for some reason I’m feeling a lot of shit that I haven’t felt in a very long time.

It doesn’t help that I have less physical and mental energy to deal with it than I used to, but I suppose the benefit of that is that I can’t really muster up much of a reaction beyond “just… go fuck yourself” (to my negative emotions, not to any actual people).

Also, lol. Found out about a month ago that my psychiatrist just kind of fucked off, got married, left the country, sold her practice, and decided to tell literally none of her patients. Not even a simple email. “Irresponsible and dangerous” is an absolute understatement. I’m just lucky I had no particular attachment to her.

Although, apparently she told some colleagues like the day or week before, which is… something?

I didn’t like her much, but she gave me my candy and now I have to find a new Willy Wonka.

Not many super choices, but maybe I’ll find a decent confectioner. Have recs from my therapist (who’s probably the most understanding person I’ve ever met and fucking fantastic at her job because of it), but might just take a look at this psych who took over the practice out of curiosity and just for funsies.

So, earlier than expected appointments I’m guessing it’ll be for me. Yay. (Actually, I don’t mind the earlier appointment with therapist, but psychiatrists are a different beast for me.)

Reddit’s always had a toxicity problem (see: Ellen Pao), but there was definitely a shift in 2015. It lines up with the political divide, but I think it was just a symptom of a larger problem. Because of a certain subreddit, a lot of new people were introduced to reddit. When they finally released an official app (lol, or rather they stole it and rebranded it as their own), there was a massive influx of users.

I’m not all “reddit was better when there were fewer users” because it wasn’t. But there was a cultural shift when it became much more widely promoted by app stores and all. It got users from all kinds of backgrounds, but it also got… I don’t know. Different. Maybe oversaturated, which kind of made it difficult to find more quality content.

The only good thing about reddit toward the end of my original time with it (I’ve been browsing lately, but not much because the app fucking sucks*) was niche communities, some funny content creators, and some NSFW subs (some of which have been absolutely gutted, if not banned entirely, since the incident).

A lot of those subs are irreplaceable. There’s just too much previous content and a mass of users that won’t ever migrate to something like Lemmy. Niche communities can still be kind of successful here due to inherently less users, but it still lacks diversity because those niche subs still had a really healthy dose of active users, which often exceeded the amount of users subscribed to some popular Lemmy communities.

A lot of them started turning to shit earlier, but they were manageable with filters and what have you. Plus the good mods were really good. Some left, some stayed, but the divide kind of fucked a lot of subs.

* Technically, there are other apps you can still use on Android without needing a paid subscription (eg. RedReader, Stealth, patching with Revanced), but they can be a bit finicky sometimes. Although, so can the official one, so it doesn’t make much of a difference.