The government doesn’t care about children anywhere. They’re a political tool when talked about in the us, a method to get whatever legislation passed that they want that we’d otherwise oppose. “It’s for the children” is never about the children.

When we bomb children in other countries, the government just doesn’t care at all and will just make up any excuses as to why it’s acceptable.

I’m with you.

“The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

Pretty much sums it up.

That.

It’s all I’m actually qualified for.

forever war

Military industrial complex:

“umm… Yes?”

Anyone but my lying eyes.

Probably that dude that said he’s got a bridge he wants to sell. I’m looking to invest.

Sugar, spice, and caltrops.

Why talk about yourself like that?

I mean it’s completely true, and you should absolutely fuck right off.

I could fight every kangaroo on the planet.

I wouldn’t win, but I could fight them.

Is it red wine and a Mediterranean diet?

Pretty much the same as my “retirement” plan. Find a pressure regulator, a tank of nitrogen, an airtight helmet, and fabricate my way out of existence.

Unfortunately it seems so

Not so fun fact: the constitution allows for slavery as long as it’s a punishment for a crime.

Hmmm… Nah, those dots don’t connect at all.