I’ve been open on the fediverse about my background.
The problem with being a major depressive for the first 36 years of your life is, you meet a lot of friends in treatment, and statistically, many of them don’t make it.
I recently surprised myself by telling the boyfriend two stories back-to-back and hearing myself say, “they died in (x) year.” Some of us outlive others. Some of us outlive a lot of others. That just makes those of is who make it all the more precious, and makes the example we lead that much more critical.
(Yes. 36 years of depression. And yes. It was actually worth it to live through it and get to the other side.)
Funny my own depression didn’t really kick up until my living conditions got better
I’ve been working so hard and long to survive and provide that I didn’t have time to think about myself.
Now I’m older and better off. Got time to breathe, maybe get a hobby. Then i look back at my life. To see many years wasted. No hobbies. No vacations. No friends.
I was just a drone for fucking decades.
Funny how bad the system is engineered for the lower caste. Makes me feel like cattle for the machine to feed the billionaires.
If I had the basic needs of survival to not struggle how much more would I have lived life instead of just survived it?
I’ve been open on the fediverse about my background.
The problem with being a major depressive for the first 36 years of your life is, you meet a lot of friends in treatment, and statistically, many of them don’t make it.
I recently surprised myself by telling the boyfriend two stories back-to-back and hearing myself say, “they died in (x) year.” Some of us outlive others. Some of us outlive a lot of others. That just makes those of is who make it all the more precious, and makes the example we lead that much more critical.
(Yes. 36 years of depression. And yes. It was actually worth it to live through it and get to the other side.)
I’m glad you made with though.
Funny my own depression didn’t really kick up until my living conditions got better
I’ve been working so hard and long to survive and provide that I didn’t have time to think about myself.
Now I’m older and better off. Got time to breathe, maybe get a hobby. Then i look back at my life. To see many years wasted. No hobbies. No vacations. No friends.
I was just a drone for fucking decades.
Funny how bad the system is engineered for the lower caste. Makes me feel like cattle for the machine to feed the billionaires.
If I had the basic needs of survival to not struggle how much more would I have lived life instead of just survived it?