In German you can use “Guten Tag” as greeting when you see meet someone. When writing mail, you can also use it as greeting even if it is not that common, to use “Guten Tag” in written conversations.

BUT: When you use “Guten Tag” at the END it’s like a “Fuck off!” (regardless of written or in verbal communication) without being an insult.

End it “Retards” and if anyone says anything you can claim it’s a typo.

I feel seen! If you get “regards” instead of “best regards” you should know you’re on my shit list.

Tepid regards.

That’s my secret, I always sign off my emails as “Regards”.

As per my email dated…

I end all my work emails with "Thanks* and let the inflection be my own

I always say Thank You, and give a good amount if snark back in my emails for dumb shit.

'Hey, our guys aren’t getting their paperwork until a day or two after we send them." - manager at my work

“Did you check to make sure the schedules were being sent in a timely manner?” - vendor support

“Thats what she’s saying right there, a day or two after is not timely” - me

Silence.

Signs off with “Worst” instead of “Best”

Sucks to your regards

You know you are fucked with kindest regards

The only time I use regards in a work email is me taking a subtle dig and dropping a WSB reference.

I appreciate you reaching out. If you would please refer to my previous email where I wrote out step by step instructions.it should answer all your questions. If you need further clarification, please feel free to reach out.

Regards,

Raiderkev