• NABDad@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Guinea pig bites are the worst.

    It’s not the force of the bite, although it does hurt (they bite through wood after all). It’s the humiliation from having one of the most fragile, easy to kill pets decide that it can express its displeasure by biting your hand.

    Damn little meat potato. The only reason you can even bite me is because you’re so damn fragile I can’t risk dropping you. Also, the reason I’m holding you is to trim your nails because you don’t wear them down naturally since you live your entire life on padded flannel blankets. Where do you even get off having displeasure to express?

    If you weren’t so damn cute, you’d be on the grill.

    • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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      3 months ago

      they bite through wood after all

      trim your nails because you don’t wear them down naturally since you live your entire life on padded flannel blankets

      Sounds like you know the problem and ain’t fixing it, chief. Leave some thick sticks with them

      • NABDad@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        I’m not sure how you reached the conclusion that they don’t have wood to gnaw on. They do.

    • Shou@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I’ve had a guinea pig and he never bit me. Not once. Only licked. He trusted me and I made sure he had a good life. He was outside and free to roam the garden until dusk. And inside the home if the outside was too cold/dark/wet. The garden also offered lots of plants to eat and hide under. He had great avriety in diet alongside the petfood and guineapig essentials. He would join me at the dinner table with his own plate of safe greens. We would snuggle every day. Everytime I had to catch him, it sometimes turned into a chase. He ofcourse didn’t want to go into the cage. The cage only served to protect him against predators at night, and from our electronic cables. Which ofcourse he didn’t understand. But he still accepted me picking him up when catching him. No biting. He knew he’d be free again come morning. He died how he lived after my dad let him out and left him outside overnight because he couldn’t catch him. My only regret is that I didn’t know they had to come in pairs.

      So what in the fuck are you doing with that guinea pig that it distrusts you so? I literally had to chase him sometimes and he still didn’t bite me when I gently but quickly scooped him.

      • NABDad@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Just one?

        Well, if you had more than one, you’d find that they are all different, with different personalities, and you wouldn’t be so quick to assume you know all guinea pigs because of your experience with your sole pig.

  • Aviandelight @mander.xyz
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    3 months ago

    Crazy parrot and reptile lady here to confirm. I would much rather take a bite from a large snake any day of the week than take a bite from one of my birds. I’ve had to get stitches multiple times because of my little feathered assholes.

    • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I have been bit by a conure more times than I can count, I have been bit and constricted by a python once. Getting bit by an actual parrot is a big reason why I haven’t gotten into larger birds.

      I would rather be bit by the Amazonian Hitler pigeon. Python teeth are like Velcro for skin and it is horrible.

      • Aviandelight @mander.xyz
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        3 months ago

        The key to dealing with a (pet) snake bite is to not pull back in fear. Their teeth are definitely like Velcro. Usually I’d just let them go to town and then run some hot tap water over their head. They don’t like the water and immediately let go. With birds you’re getting hurt no matter what you do.

        • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          I don’t remember the exact circumstances, I think I was going to give her a quick bath before a flight(mistake). I was holding her when she bit the meat of my thumb and coiled around my hand and wrist. All 5 feet of her was coiled with her head in the middle of the ball. Water did nothing. I had to wait about a half hour before she got bored, she then peeled her mouth off. I later found out that rubbing alcohol gets them to fuck off immediately, but that was the first and last time she bit me.

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I’ve had a lot of reptiles and as a result, a lot of reptile bites.

      Almost every time I’ve been bit it was an accident or a response, and as soon as the reptile realized it had human skin in it’s mouth it would release. Even herbivore iguanas have a lot of pretty sharp teeth and I’ve had some unique looking bite marks, but they almost never bite intentionally.

      Parrots meanwhile… they are evil incarnate, at least to me. I’ve never met a parrot that didn’t bite me hard enough to let me know it could easily amputate parts of my body if it so chose. Meanwhile I see them loving and cuddling other people, people who say things like “He’s really very loving, he never bites anyone, he’s perfectly safe to pet!”

      • MisterFrog@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        The rest of the world would like a word. Do you really think only you people in the US exist?

        Also the equivalent for psi is Pa (=N/m²), usually as kPa or bar (100 kPa).

        Most people don’t really understand either to a great extent, and are just familiar with one or the other.

        As always though, metric wins because of its interoperability with all the other metric units.

      • Muscar@discuss.online
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        3 months ago

        “Most people”, no, the earth isn’t mostly Americans. It’s only Americans that do this dumb as fuck things where they forget the rest of the world and think only they exist or matter. You have no idea how fucking annoying it is, and how much it shows stupidity and ignorance.

  • Zugyuk@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Their primary method of interacting with the world is with a switchblade mounted on their face.

  • collapse_already@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    I have been bitten by a cat that meant it and a dog that meant it. I would rather be bitten by a dog. The cat hit bone. The dog did not. The hamster bite bled profusely, but otherwise wasn’t too bad. Based on the information in this comic, I am going to avoid birds.

    • Lev_Astov@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I’ve experienced the same and always thought PSI is a pretty absurd way to gauge puncture damage like this.

      • nikstarling@programming.dev
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        3 months ago

        The thing about dogs is that they don’t damage you by puncturing. They try to grab onto your body parts and tear your flesh out by moving their head furiously. In that regard PSI can be a useful metric as it describes how hard it will be to open their jaws.

        • Lev_Astov@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          You’d have to know a lot about how that PSI was measured and how their jaw is sized for that to be in any way useful.

  • frobeniusnorm@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    My parrot gave me 3 earring holes that grew together again. He also liked destroying books and sealing rings.

  • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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    3 months ago

    See that beak? That downwards pointy thing? It’s meant to crack open tough nuts. You do the math on how much hurt a sharp thing that can crack open some very tough nuts can cause