Over time I’ve developed a fear of that self reflective laying in bed trying to sleep time especially as when I get into negative thinking it keeps me awake far longer, sometimes hours of ever increasing torment so I find myself unable to go to bed before I’m tired enough to fall asleep quickly - generally that involves distracting myself with social media, YouTube, video games, porn, or even work but then I’m tired the next day and spend most the day sitting around distracting myself on my phone trying to avoid that limbo of guilt and negative thinking when I’m not awake enough to be productive.